Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
My de-fill is still going fine. My weight has been fluctuating a bit since then, but I'm sure it's from all the wine from the weekend and late night eating during the show. I still feel like I did the right thing getting some taken out. I still have restriction although not as much. If I do what I'm supposed to do, I'm sure I'll find that I'm in the right spot. I did get stuck and PB'd a couple of times this weekend, but I think it was a combination of nerves and trying to eat too quickly.
I don't have much to report. I'm a little behind on comments, I've been reading, but haven't had much time to really catch up. Let me know if I missed anything major. I hope you all have a great day!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Rehearsals are kicking my butt for the Variety Show I'm in, but the performances are on Thursday and Friday of this week. I'm ready for it to be here, ready for it to be over with, but know when it's over I will feel a little sad that it's over. It's so much work for 2 nights of performance. Anyway, I've got my costumes and wigs in order, just got a couple more songs to learn. I hope you all have a great day! Again, thanks for the support and advice.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I hope you all have a great weekend. I'm looking forward to it, although I will be busy, rehearsal tonight and Sunday we move the set. I get my kids back today, I sure do miss them! Y'all have a good one!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Okay, now...last night I watched the Dianne Sawyer interview with Jaycee Dugard, and OMG! It just touched me so much, that poor girl, her poor mother and those sick people who took her. It just made me so sad for her. I can't imagine what she endured and her poor mother, how she never seemed to give up hope of seeing her daughter again. I had a very restless night of sleep, I kept thinking about it and thinking about our kids, it would kill me if anything ever happened to my kids or my step kids. The world is a scary place.
I ate split pea soup for lunch today, that was about 2 hours ago, and I'm still physically satisfied, but I'm wanting to eat so badly right now. I get like that when I've had a hard time eating, I feel sorry for myself and want to eat to comfort me. What is up with that. So anyway, like I said, this weekend I could barely eat and this morning I got on the scale and it was up...3 freaking pounds. I'm sorry but I just don't see how that can be. I'm not changing my ticker either, so screw that scale. I'm about to throw it out the window, or maybe I need another break from the scale like I did a few months back. It just makes me so mad. I know for sure now I'll never reach 199 before the show in two weeks, at this rate I'd have to cut off a foot to get there. I keep waiting for the Earth to shift again and let me lose. Insert Nancy Kerrigan cry...Why, why, why can't I get there?
Enough of my little pity party. I hope you all have a great week.
Friday, July 8, 2011
And now for a little bit of advice from me:
I know you've heard the saying "If you love something let it go....if it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't it never was." Beautiful wise words, but I have my own twist on it:
"if you love something, buy it in every color they have!"
Thus the red and black matching tops. Just too cute to pass it up!
Now for BYOC:
1. If you were asked to symbolize yourself as an animal - which animal would you be?
That's a hard one, probably a bear... a mama bear. I'd kill someone who tries to mess with my cubs. I can be sweet and cuddly, until you cross me, you know "mess with the bear you get the claw!" I could probably do a circus act, I like sweets (willing to take on bees for honey) and junk food (willing to take on campers for twinkies!) and I could probably sleep through most of the winter.
2. Did you ever play an organized sport - with coaches, rules and scoring? Tell us about it.
I ran cross country in high school and in Junior High I played volleyball and ran track. But in high school I lettered in Forensics....The letter actually said Forensics. Not like the Forensic files on TV, but Speech and Debate. That was my forte and Drama of course!
3. When did you start shaving your legs? I started shaving my legs in the 6th grade I think. I remember bugging the crap out of my mom and then as soon as I shaved, I wish I could undo it, my legs were so white and skinny!
4. When you're in a crabby - pissy - want to stab everyone you see kind of mood - what do you do to get out of it or do you revel in it?
I usually cry! And I eat chocolate! And I blog and you guys cheer me up. I also lash out irrationally at those around me and then spend the next couple of days apologizing to those same folks. I also listen to music and go online and watch old America's Funniest Video montages and videos of babies laughing!
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland and in real life. In blogland there's lots going on: Barbara had her surgery and is doing great, her boobs are so perky, she has to go bra less for a while! Sally is preparing for her gastric bypass next week. Gilly is trying to get my lazy ass to do the challenge, I thought about it for a second, just a second though! And Camille had to get a total unfill! In real life, fighting with my step son, a friend of mine passed away at 47 with two girls 13 and 11, so tragic! I'm a raging hormonal beast. All last week I could eat practically any thing I came across and did not get stuck at all. Today I started and like magic, the old band slammed shut on me! PB'd twice this morning....the band is so fickle, but just when I think it's not in there...it shows me that it is! My hubby is going to the Deer Camp this weekend for some much needed R&R. He has been working so many hours and so hard lately, I hope he has the best weekend ever. I have a party to go to Saturday, I'm excited about that and the rest of the weekend, I plan to catch up on my housework and spend some quality time with my step daughter and if he'll let me, my step son. My boys are going to their Dad's this weekend.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Again, thanks for your kind words.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I've blogged before about how difficult the step-child/step-mother relationship is. With your own kids, there is this level of trust, because you've always been a part of each others lives. With step kids, they come to you already wary, they have been through divorce with their parents, they test you and it takes time and great energy to get to the point where they know you care for them for real and for you to feel like family. I am a very maternal woman. I love being a mother, I think it is an integral part of who I am as a person. Mothering comes easy to me. So, I feel like a total failure in this relationship.
Today sucks. I'm sad. I'm upset, my eyes are swollen from crying. I just hate this feeling of helplessness. I have eaten poorly today in an effort to comfort myself like I used to, I know better, really I do.
I'm sorry I'm such a downer, but I just needed to get it off my chest.
Hope your day goes well, tomorrow's Friday.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
- I suck at this.
- My lack of planning is hurting me.
- Just because I'm tired and busy does not give me an excuse to do poorly.
- I may never see the scale move in a downward way again!
- When I get home I need to prepare food for me as well as my family in a short time, going to rehearsal hungry and staying hungry for 3 hours does not help me make good choices.
- Last night at 9 pm I ate some Ramen Noodles! Ramen Noodles people...no nutritional value, loaded with sodium and fat...and 380 calories to boot.
- I'm tired, and realized I keep forgetting to take my B-12 tablets!
- I'm too lame to even join one of the challenges, because I don't want to be the only person in the challenge to gain or not lose at all.
- I'm getting complacent.
- I'm getting old.
- And, now...I'm getting over it!
This is my official plea!....if you read me, give me some advice, some tid bit of information that will spur me on to success. Please.
I had a fabulous weekend, but of course I drank too much wine and ate sweets among other things. I feel like I'm never going to get there, to a normal weight. I want to, but obviously not bad enough to change my evil ways.
Have a great day....Big Hugs!