I'm having a BYOC block!

I copy and paste... I stare at the words....I can't seam to do BYOC, sorry Draz. The same thing happened to me last week. Today I started doing it and I really freaked out trying to narrow down the last meal question, there's something wrong with me. My husband and I had this discussion recently on a long car trip. He asked me what my last meal would be, his would be tacos. Then I just couldn't get over the fact that he would choose tacos...he's like...I love tacos, get over it. Some of my very best times with my husband have been in the car on long trips, the parts when I'm actually awake that is. We have wonderful conversations and he just makes me laugh. A couple of years ago we drove to Ohio when his mom passed away. When we got there, he was exhausted from the drive and had to go nap, I stayed up all night with his sister talking, because I had just slept for like 17 hours straight. I guess we didn't do much talking on that trip.

My husband is a Midwesterner and I'm a Southerner, (Cajun if you will) we grew up eating very different types of food. The things that are comfort foods to me are much different than the foods that are comfort foods to him. Rice and gravy is the gold standard in Louisiana, everything has rice and gravy with it. My husband grew up eating mashed potatoes, noodles and lots of sweet corn. It's funny how we have merged our little food worlds together. Last night we had one of his comfort foods...that is quickly becoming one of mine. Maple/Honey pork links cooked in Sauerkraut served over mashed potatoes. The first time he ate that in front of me I nearly died, now it's delicious to me, who'd have thunk it. And my man gladly eats gumbo with potato salad right in the bowl. I still haven't learned to love milk and noodles yet, but maybe one day.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, we have a dinner party on Saturday and then all the Mardi Gras balls start. Lots to do, lots of fun. Did I mention that Vickie and her sweet husband John are coming for one of our Mardi Gras balls? How excited am I? This will be my 3rd visit with Vickie. It's amazing to me that I have met such wonderful people through Pearl (my band) and through this blog. What a difference you have all made in my life. Thank you. I hope you all have a great weekend.
Big Hugs!
T

Finally the scale threw me a bone!

I've been trying to be a big girl about it, but frustration was making its way back into my life. Finally the scale moved a little, I'll take 2 pounds in a heart beat. I've said it before, I shall say it again, I don't care how long it takes me to get there, as long as I get there. Now, I'm more than half way to my goal. 48 pounds to go sounds so manageable to me. I can't remember the last time I felt so confident about reaching my goal. When I stop and break things down, I'm so hopeful...when I lose half of what I have left...I'll only be 24 pounds overweight! That just baffles me. I'm excited and it lights a little fire in me to think about my goals on a smaller scale.

In other news, my restriction is strange. Some days I can barely eat and some days I could eat my shoe if I put my mind to it. I realize that I'm dealing with head hunger much more than I have before and I need to address it and put a plan into action. I've been tracking my food and I think that's a good place to start. I really need to exercise more, but hate the cold weather and it makes me a total slug (not excuses you say...I'm sorry, have we met?) I have some horrifying before pictures to post soon and I will. Things are crazy busy at work and I haven't had time to blog much, things should even out soon. Today I register my baby for HIGH SCHOOL! I have a lump in my throat, how did this happen? Also, in the "how did this happen department" I'm turning 48 this month. I have no doubt that I will reach my goal of being fit when I turn 50. I have a 30 year class reunion this summer and I'm not even freaking out about it, I'm actually looking forward to it.

Wow, that was long, if you're still here...I hope you have a wonderful day!

Big Hugs,

T

Monday....and my word for the year!

Good Monday Morning. I hope everyone had a wonderful relaxing weekend. Mine was fun, not exactly relaxing, but fun.


Last year I chose trust for my word of the year. I wanted to trust myself, trust my band, trust the process and I have to say that I did. I've been thinking a great deal about what word I would like to have to guide me through the year 2011. And I've decided on

gumption
definition:
initiative, aggressiveness, resourcefulness, courage, spunk, guts

Hey, it's not very glamorous, but it's what I need to get through the second phase of this journey. I have been at the same weight, give or take a pound for a month now. For the most part I'm eating right. (Key words here...."for the most part") I need to really give this my all if I want to see the kind of results that I want to see. I need to get off my butt and sweat. This, I know....this I haven't been doing. So today I'm asking myself for a little gumption. I want this, I really do. I know that I can have this, I'm half way there. I can get the rest of the way there, but it's likely going to take a little more effort than I've been putting forth. I've got spunk, I've got guts....I just need to excavate them. Onward folks!
Big Hugs!
T

Today is 12th Night

Twelfth night is today, the Epiphany which signals the end of the Christmas season and the beginning of the Mardi Gras season. I live in Louisiana so Mardi Gras is a big deal here. The season runs from 12th night until the day before Ash Wednesday, Mardi Gras is French for "Fat Tuesday!" The Mardi Gras season is filled with Balls, parades, lots of food and drink, it's the splurge before the fasting of the Lenten Season.

Last year, Mardi Gras for me was stressful, finding ball dresses and cocktail dresses is not fun when you are huge. This year, I'm halfway to my goal. I'm not concerned about gaining weight this season and I am looking forward to wearing some beautiful ball gowns. Have I told you lately that I love my band?

Have a great day!

Big Hugs!

T

Don't know how to put it...

I'm having one of those days...a day where I'm feeling a little off kilter, kind of blue, but not really and well...I don't know how to put it in words. I feel a little bit sad, but not really, I feel a little bit nostalgic and weepy. Yeah, that's it and though I know much of this is hormone driven, apparently this feeling began day before yesterday when I was dusting pictures in a cabinet in my hallway. My son's latest football picture is without a frame, so I opened the cabinet below to see if there was a frame down there. In the cabinet was a basket with a bunch of pictures in it. I took it out and sat on my bed, I started going through the pictures. First of all, I love pictures, secondly, I lost most of my pictures in the Hurricane Rita flood. I think I blogged about this before, but when I lost all of my pictures of my children when they were small, I was so hurt, I felt like I wouldn't have those memories and all, but little by little, friends and relatives started giving me pictures of my children, they would say..."I was cleaning out a drawer and I had doubles of these" Slowly, I gathered pictures of my kids when they were small, those pics were in this basket, along with pictures that my ex-husband had found in our old house, pictures of me from college. So here I am, looking at these pictures of me in college as a young, very thin woman with my whole life ahead of me. Then there are pictures of my babies and of me as a very fat, very unhealthy looking, very unhappy woman. It was painful, my husband came in the room and he was looking at them too. I was so embarrassed. I can't help but wonder how I became that woman. How did that happen to me? My husband was looking at a very fat picture of me and he said you look so much better now, not just better as in prettier, but better as in healthier. It was true, I was not the same person then, I was killing myself...one bite at a time. Now when I think back to that time in my life, I have trouble believing that my life is the way it is now, I'm so much better, I'm so much healthier and for sure...I'm so much happier. A picture is worth a thousand words...true. I will share some of them with you soon. I hope everyone has a great day.
Big Hugs,
T

Out of the weight closet....

Thanks for all of the support when I made my debut on the outside of the weight closet. When my husband read my blog this morning, he said...."that's it? sort of anti climactic." And, I guess he has a point, I don't know what I thought would happen, he'd pack his bags and leave? I swear, sometimes the things we do to ourselves! Anyway, I really do feel better, it's liberating. Now, I want to know what onderland feels like. Have a great day, and thanks for being so kind.
Big Hugs,
T

I can't handle the truth!

I'm sweating and I have tears rolling down my face. I have to say that I'm more afraid of my husband knowing my weight than anyone else. I know that's stupid. He loves me as I am and he's loved me much larger than I am. Anyway, I'm just going to bite the bullet and put it out there. I think it's important for me to do things differently this time, so ...I weigh 216. My pre- surgery weight was 266 and that was not my heaviest. Okay, I didn't die. This is a huge step for me. Thank you for your kindness to me and for encouraging me to take this step and for saying that you support me either way. My weight has been such a source of shame for me, so this is one step in breaking the cycle of secrecy and shame. It is what it is.

Big Hugs!

T