Dear Teacher, the weekend ate my accountability!

Yeah, pretty much all of my reserve went out the window this weekend. I ate and drank like it was job! Sigh! I'm in a rut. I got up this morning and exercised, but not without a huge fight with my self first. This weekend wasn't a total loss, I'm still eating way less than I used to, but I drank 2 bottles of wine over the weekend. I got plenty of exercise, on Saturday and Sunday...cleaning my house, I mean really cleaning, baseboards and all. Man are my legs sore! That should count for something. But, I know I didn't make good food choices and the sad thing is, I really didn't care about it. Well not until I got on the scale this morning. It would appear that the scale can only move in one direction and that is up!

Today is a new day. Clean slate! Read is on the accountability wagon too, so there's safety in numbers, right? Hey Read, I need directions for the 5 day pouch test! I have no choice but to do better. I want to do better. I want to reach my goal weight. I used to feel so sure that I could do it...now, I'm not so sure. But for today, I'm going to do better, I'm going to eat better and move more and I'm going to stop letting the scale make me feel like a failure. So, there!

Happy Monday y'all!
Big Hugs,
T

Crossroads...

I feel like I'm standing there, wondering which way to go. I'm really trying to be a big girl about my food and WW, I'm still tracking my points and exercising, and I'm trying not to weigh every single time I pass the scale! Well, I weighed again this morning and that 3.5 pounds is still hanging on. I had really just assumed it was because of the exercise or water gain or a thousand other things, but it is still there. I'm a slave to the scale, it deeply affects the way I feel about myself and I really hate that. I can be feeling on top of the world and hop on the scale and all of that changes with one little upswing. I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have gotten the unfill. I'm feeling good again, so I suppose I've forgotten how miserable I was when I couldn't eat anything healthy. I just have these moments when I get overwhelmed and I think that a healthy weight is something I'll never be able to achieve. I guess I'm hormonal, I keep randomly crying today. My youngest will be starting High School on Wednesday, and I guess I'm just having one of those days, I'm feeling old and fat. Time to go look at some blogs and see before pictures of my heroes like Amy W., Catherine and Stephanie, that always makes me feel better.

I'm staying the course til next Wednesday's weigh in, if I'm still up, I'm gonna pull my hair out!
Have a great weekend.
Big Hugs!
T

Project accountability, not what I expected...

I did it, I went one week on WW, I counted points, I exercised and I feel terrific. I feel empowered. I swear my pants fit better today than they did last week. Yesterday, I got on the scale and was still at the usual spot, but I was feeling pretty confident. Today is weigh in day, I get up this morning, pee and weigh...hmmmm. Much to my surprise, I was up 3.5 pounds! That, my friends is not what I was expecting! I went for my walk, I came home did some housework, drank my coffee, stripped down to get in the shower...same thing. I guess, I could panic, and get pissed, or I can just take an inventory of the situation and keep going. I mean, I feel really good, if I had not seen the scale this morning, I would definitely think I had logged a loss. So, the plan is still the same, I'm going to keep on with Project Accountability and hope that the loss I feel today will actually show up on the scale next week. Until then, I'll just keep on keeping on!
Have a great day!
Big Hugs,
T

This whole accountablility thing sucks!

I'm on day 6 of my accountability plan, exercise, counting WW points, writing down everything I eat. It has been eye opening. No wonder I haven't lost any weight in months. I have been eating poorly and drinking way too much wine. There....I said it....I own it. I think it is an epidemic in blog land right now, with some of us bandsters who have lost enough weight to feel pretty normal and we are struggling to stay motivated. I'm happy to report that I exercised 6 days out of last week and this morning I did it again, even though I really wanted to just sleep. I'm proud of myself for that. I'm hoping that on Wednesday when I weigh I will see some downward movement on the scale. I'm the only one who can get me over this hump, I'm the only thing standing in my way. That's a pretty scary thought.

The new WW plan is quite different. It encourages you to eat more fruits,vegetables and whole foods, by giving those foods a very low or zero points total. Other foods that used to be calculated just by calories are now calculated by carbs, fat, protein and fiber. I think it's a really good way for me to get better balance in my diet. I had been so tight that I just didn't even try to do veggies anymore. It's making me think differently about my food choices, for instance, really wanted something sweet on Friday, so I got a Three Musketeer truffle crisp bar, 2 bars are 170 calories, on the old plan it had a points value of 3, so 1.5 for half, not anymore, it's like 3 points for 1/2. I am much more aware of the nutritional value of foods and realize I had gotten pretty lax on trying to eat a well rounded diet. Better choices mean better nutrition and hopefully better movement on the scale. That's what I'm hoping for anyway.

Have a great day! Big Hugs,
T

BYOC

B.Y.O.C. Bring Your Own Crazy!

Bring your own crazy are 5 little questions that we answer to get to know each other a little better. Copy and past to your blog and answer away...

1. Random person in your life (picked by Draz)- not knowing if you had a good or bad, existent or non-existent relationship with them- your mission is to pick five words or traits or thoughts that describe them?

Paternal Grandmother
Strong

Smart

Tough

Old

Gal (She died at 101, she had 9 children and outlived all but 2 of them)

2. What is your all time favorite color to paint your nails? and toes?

Ususally I don't paint my finger nails, when I do, it's nude or a French Manicure

My toes are never unpainted, usually Cajun Shrimp or Hooker Red!

3. Do you get along with your parents well?
I did and think I still would today! My parents were wonderful people. My Mom has been dead for 34 years and my Dad for 33 years.

4. Rank the rainbow colors in the order you prefer...
Green

Red

Violet

Orange

Indigo

Yellow

Blue

5. Repeat question... How was your week in blog land and in real life??

BLOG LAND- Great, you guys have been so supportive of me. I can't thank you enough for all of your kind words!
REAL LIFE- Busy! School is about to start for my kids, so it's crazy and it's HOT as HELL in Louisiana. I'm happy I've been eating well and exercising. I plan to continue and show a loss next week.!

Take care y'all! Have a great weekend.

Big Hugs!

T

Commitment and a handful of NSV's

Hello folks! How are you? I'm doing great! I just want to say thank you for all of your kind words and encouragement. We are so lucky to have this community of support, we really are! On Monday, I woke up and said to my self, "Self, some thing's gotta give, if you want to get this weight loss thing moving again, you're going to have to make a few changes!" I decided that I was going to put forth the effort it takes to get through this part of my journey. I did not come this far to just stop. When I decided to get a lap band it was not with the intention of losing just 60% of my excess weight, I signed up to lose 100% of my excess weight. I have been in a rut, a mental and physical rut. I have not been really trying to get to my goal. So when I had the talk with myself Monday, I decided to do WW for 3 months to try to break this mental plateau and try to bring some balance to my diet. I decided to exercise at least 3 days this week and work up to 5 times a week after that. So, I did great all day Monday, Monday night I didn't do so well. Tuesday was a little better and Wednesday a little better still and today, I feel a whole new level of commitment that I haven't had in a long time. I have exercised everyday this week, and I have tracked my food on line. I even tracked my wine last night and it feels really good to be accountable. I have a few NSV's to share too.

• I don't know when this happened, and I'm having trouble believing that it's true, but my thighs don't rub together anymore when I walk. Amazing!


• Barbara talked about this too....but it's true so I have to mention it, my shadow looks like a shadow, not a big hole in the ground.


• A picture was taken of me at rehearsal from the back and I was sitting in a chair, my ass is not hanging off each side of the chair by a mile and I didn't even know it was me when I first saw the picture.


• My feet don't hurt.


• My legs don't hurt.


• It felt great to get out and sweat and walk, I was amazed by the fact that even though I have successfully avoided any physical activity in the last year, I felt strong and in way better shape than last year at this time.

I have a great deal to be thankful for. I'm so glad I got my band, I'm glad that I feel like I got some MoJo back. I want desperately to get out of the 200's and lose at least 10 pounds before Chicago and before my 30th class reunion which is the weekend before BOOBS. I can do this, I just have to make it a priority. Thanks again for your sweet words. You always lift me up!

Big Hugs,

T

What to do?

I'm feeling all wishy washy! I think I had gotten really used to my band being super tight and being able to justify eating trash because that's all I could eat, and I'm seriously craving crap right now! When I got my unfill, it was such a relief, I was so happy to be able to eat and drink, and I was still feeling restriction. Today, I feel like could eat a horse....granted last week I was PMS'ing this week it's TOM, so even if I didn't have a slight unfill, I'd be in the same damn boat, hungry, cravey and able to eat way more than usual. But I'm feeling scared and unsure, feeling like a made a mistake getting some out. Logically I know I need to wait at least 6 weeks before I make the decision to get more fluid in the band. My restriction has always been very haphazard and I know that tomorrow the band could slam shut on me for two weeks. I'm secretly hoping so, although I guess it's not much of a secret since I just wrote it. I haven't gained any weight, other than the usual upswing with TOM. I have exercised two days this week, which is something I haven't done in ages, so that could be a factor in my hunger today too. I just feel like it's really important for me to listen to my body and feed it good food. My hubby was not for me getting and unfill, because he kept pointing out that sometimes I could eat... I don't want to give him the opportunity to say "I told you so," not that he would do that, that's more my style than his. I really want to get my weight loss started again, I'm tired of the holding pattern. I feel restless. Chicago is in 2 months, and so is my 30th class reunion, I just want to be at least 10 pounds down by then. I'm feeling sorry for myself and I need to snap out of it, because feeling sorry for myself only leads to eating. Okay, it's time to just get back to basics, I'll wait 4 more weeks and then I'll decide if I should get a fill or not. Wish me luck!
Big Hugs,
T

PS
Sorry I've been absent. I love reading all your surveys, good stuff! Maybe I can do it tomorrow.