Vanilla might be the finest of the flavors, but Friday is the finest of the workdays!

I love Fridays. It's raining really hard and quite dismal out, but I still like today. Just thought I'd put it out there. Happy Friday all and here's hoping you have a great weekend as well.

Na na na na na, you say it's your birthday.....

It's my birthday too yeah. So, today I'm 47 years old. I guess that makes me middle aged or something, if I live another 47 years I'll be 94. The last 47 have really gone by quickly, I mean it hardly feels like 3 years short of a half century! I'm glad that I've experienced the many things that I have experienced. I'm glad that I lived through some perilous times, that I have a beautiful family, a wonderful husband and a new adventure on the horizon to show for it all. As I reflect today on this piece of time that is called my life, I realize that although there has been a lot of pain....something beautiful always seems to come from the pain. So...without further adieu, I have decided on a name for my band when I get it. Drum roll please......PEARL, it's the only precious stone that is created from pain and irritation.

So, I'm waiting for my Pearl people, just give me the sand (band)!!!!

Have a great day. And, thanks for being a part of my journey!

Okay, I'm leaving the mistake title.

I was starting to do a new post earlier, when the phone rang and well, I hit the backspace button a bunch of times, but I guess I hit publish too. It was going to read...."Why couldn't I have been thin instead of fabulous?" Hmmm the answer: I was thin and fabulous, but had no appreciation for who I was or all of my possibilities. Now, I'm older, wiser, much fatter, but still have too little appreciation for all of my possibilities. I mean hey....I've got it going on. I'm smart, funny, I can sing, dance, act, cook, mother, make people laugh, but instead of focusing on all of the things that I have, I zoom in on the one big thing I don't have...a slender body and control over food. If my children acted like I do, I would shake them and say "hey, put this in perspective, look at all of the positives!" So, I'm taking a new direction. Today I'm going to accentuate the positives! I'm going to be more thankful for all that I do have, I'm surrounded by people who love me and support me. My husband loves me as I am, I need to do that too. Because if I want to have real success with this elusive band, I realize that I must embrace an attitude of success. If you hold it in your mind, you can hold it in your hands, right? So, it's official.....my glass is half full! Have a great day!

Why couldn

Every other day of the week is fine....yeah!

Monday, Monday....now that I have you singing oldies. I want to address my Monday blues. The weekend was fabulous, lots of festivities, still in the Mardi Gras mode and the Saints are going to the Super Bowl, so how could I be blue? This journey that I have begun has caused me to do some serious thinking. And on Monday morning after a weekend of overindulgence, I'm always ready to get on the diet bandwagon. This morning as I was contemplating how to be a good girl today with my food choices, I realized that although I ate too much over the weekend, I didn't really enjoy it. I feel like I don't get the kind of pleasure that I used to out of food anymore, but that doesn't deter me from overeating. I wonder why? When I quit smoking and decided to try a cigarette again, it made me feel bad, and so I didn't have a desire to do it anymore. But, with food, it makes me feel bad, I don't get the kind of comfort from it that I once did, but I continue to abuse it. I don't like this about myself. I'm worried that the band might not make that much of a difference for me. I'm worried that I will somehow screw it up and not lose the weight. I've read that others felt this way before they were banded. I've also read that when restriction is right, people don't even think about food all day. I can't imagine what that would be like. I want so badly to get this part of my life under control, sometimes it feels like it's so far out of my reach. But then again....the SAINTS are going to the Super Bowl. Maybe good things do come to those who wait! I'm over my blues. Have a great Monday.
Tessie

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want....

As I read blog after blog and see the successes of banded folks from near and far, I'm forced to ponder the question: "What do I really want from the band?" Well, first of all, I really want a surgery date and to have my band "installed" as FB puts it. Then, the top ten things I really want are these:
10. To no longer be obese.
9. To feel comfortable in my clothes.
8. To get my blood pressure under control.
7. To take a beach vacation and not feel inclined to wear at tent!
6. To adjust the seat in my car without having to move my butt to one side to get my arm down there!
5. To no longer know the Muffin man! (he lives above my waist)
4. To weigh less than my husband.
3. To wear a football mom shirt and not feel so out of place.
2. To weigh less than the average starting lineman on any given Sunday.
And the number one thing I want from the band....
1. For my personality to be bigger than my butt!

So, those are the things that I want from the band, now if I can just get the darn thing I'll feel so much better.

Take care, and have a great weekend!

Why do I give my power away to food?!?!

I'm in a bad place right now, teetering between good and evil. I'm so frustrated by not having a date yet, and so not committed to eating right! I can't stand the way I feel when I overeat. I can't stand the way I look to myself when I overeat. I can't stand the way I pick myself apart when I overeat. So... why the hell do I continue to overeat? I feel like a crack addict must feel, waking up everyday with new conviction to stay clean and then ending each day regretting that I didn't. My weight is up, but still 44 pounds from my high. How can this weight feel so much different when I hit it on the way up then it did on the way down? I remember weighing what I weigh now and feeling great about my self because I was 40 pounds down! I need to get my mojo back! I know that no one can do this for me but me. Sorry guys, I'm officially over my rant. Does anyone out there have any advice on how I can get my mojo back until I get the band?