Things I want to do differently in the New Year

Well, as always this is a time of year when I spend some time thinking about how the previous year went, and some time thinking about how I want the next year to be. Since, I just don't know when, I have always focused my plans for the new year around weight loss. This year will be no different in that I do want to reach my goal weight in the upcoming year, but this year is different, because this year I know I can do it. I often wonder if that is why I never could lose weight for good before....was it because I never believed that I really could? This time is different, this time I believe that I can and this time I don't care how long it takes me, as long as I get there.

I've been blogging for more than a year now and I haven't shared my weight yet. I don't know why I have such a hang up about it, but I do. My husband doesn't know how much I weigh either. He asked me to tell him recently and I said no, he asked me if I thought it would change the way he felt about me. I don't know the answer to that, obviously I do think that or I would have shared by now. Maybe it's because it definitely changes the way I feel about myself. I think it's an important step for me to actually write down what I weigh, to speak it and really own it. I know many of you bloggers are so open and honest about your weight you keep a ticker and you share openly about it. This is something that I hope to have the strength to do in the very near future. But still, I just don't know if I can. It is a goal of mine though and it is a goal of mine to start being more honest about other uncomfortable things as well.

Another goal of mine for the new year is to be more active. I have been lazy and I need to change that. Although it's challenging for me to get my workouts in, it is not impossible and it needs to be a priority. I will do better this year. Overall, I'm really happy with the way last year went and optimistic about the coming year. I will really work on doing some things differently and being more honest.
Happy New Year!
Big Hugs,
T

Looking forward to the New Year!

I'm looking forward to bringing in a new year. 2010 was a good year for me. One of the highlights of that year has been getting banded and then losing 50 pounds. Last year at this time I was still struggling to get insurance approval and feeling so defeated. This year I believe that 2011 will bring me to my goal weight. I never thought I would feel so confident about realizing my goal. I can say that although it has taken me 9 months to lose 50 pounds, I feel like those pounds are really gone. It hasn't been painful, it's been slow and steady and if it takes me 9 months to lose the next 50, I will be at my goal weight in September. But either way I feel confident that 2011 will indeed bring me to my goal. What a wonderful thing to look forward to. I am so happy with the changes so far and can't wait to be able to share with you what it feels like to be at a normal healthy weight. It's been a wonderful year and I'm looking forward to an even better one to come!
Have a great day!
Big Hugs!
T

4 years ago today...

Yes, 4 years ago today...I married the love of my life. I know that sounds completely corny, but it's true. I am so lucky to have found John, he is an amazing man, he's funny, he's soooo patient, he loves me, in spite of ME, he loves my children and we have so much fun together. Life is good. Happy Anniversary Honey!

December 28, 2006, we had just said our vows.

Saying our vows with our children present, what a wonderful night,
the Judge who married us is our dear friend.

This is where we married, at the beautiful home of our other dear friends.

And, cutting the wedding cake.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day, I have so much to be thankful for.

Big Hugs!

T

Wow, what a Christmas!

I survived the holiday. My boys are back home with me, we had 16 people for Christmas Dinner,and more friends dropping in after dinner. The first guest arrived at 12:30 pm and the last guest left at 11:30 pm. All in all it was a wonderful day. We had terrific food, great wine, great company, wonderful gifts and I didn't gain 10 pounds over the holiday. I did really well food wise until yesterday at my friends house, I ate 5 salted caramels! I just couldn't help myself, so...today I'm doing the "day after too much sugar, jonesing for more thing!" I know that if I just stay away from sugar today, tomorrow will be better. I can't believe how different this Christmas was from last year. I enjoyed myself as always, but this year, I went to bed with a clear conscience, no wishing I had a stomach pump. What a great feeling, even after the 5 caramels from yesterday...they totalled 350 calories, a little guilt inducing, but a far cry from the binges of Christmas Past! I love Pearl. What a great feeling to have the Holiday be about the actual Holiday rather than the food and my guilt about the food. My sister gave me some old pictures from Christmas a few years back, OMG...I cannot believe that the picture is of me! I'll share when I have a chance to scan it. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, I'm looking forward to 2011 and all that it holds. Have a great day!

Big Hugs,

T

8,760 hours ago...

My how things have changed in a year. I just read an old post from a year ago and I can't believe the change in me in one year. Sure, there have been some physical changes, but the emotional and mental changes are what I am most proud of right now. Just a year ago, I felt powerless when it came to my food issues. Last year at this time I was really dreading Christmas, because it represented another day of uncontrollable eating for me. The holidays were filled with cookies, pies, all things decadent and then followed with a giant helping of remorse. The cycle I was in was so painful and so destructive, but I just couldn't seam to get myself out of it. When I read that post, I can say that I remember how kind everyone in this community was to me, how much support and understanding I got from everyone and how I felt (although I was afraid to say it) a glimmer of hope. I remember playing out in my head what it would be like to have the surgery, what my life would be like. One of my biggest fears was giving up my way of life, I was so dependent on food for comfort. I remember reading one of Catherine's post about her friend saying to her before surgery, if you really want to change things, you're going to really have to change things... so simple and so true. The way my life was last year was not working for me. As scary as it was, I'm thankful beyond expression for this change in my life. I no longer feel hopeless or helpless. I feel quite empowered, and I feel like I will get to my goal weight and I will stay there, what a blessing.
Thank you all for the part you have played in both my decision to have WLS and my ability to be successful. At this wonderful time of year I'm so thankful for the second chance that I have been given and for the wonderful friends I've made along the way. Merry Christmas!
Big Hugs,
T

PS
Did I mention I finished my Christmas shopping yesterday?!?!

I'm finished with my shopping!

Oh Holy Cow! This is indeed a rare day, first a lunar eclipse and now...I am finished with my Christmas shopping! (insert radiant beam of light and a choir of angelic voices hear!) I must say that this never happens before Christmas Eve. But on this day in December in the year 2010, I declare that I am done!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Big Hugs,

T

Recap of the weekend

John grilling the steaks, yummm.

The pergola and deck area, looking festive.

John and I as Santa & Mrs. Claus

The party was a success, everyone had a great time and the food was wonderful! Once again, it's Monday and I feel like I haven't had a weekend, I'm worn out. Christmas is coming quickly and I have lots to do to get ready. Dinner is at our house this year and as you probably have figured out, we love to be the hosts!

Here's my recipe for crab & corn bisque for those who asked. Warning, this is not a low cal dish, but it's fabulous.

2 bags frozen corn

2 pounds crab meat (I like claw meat rather than lump)

1 purple onion

1 bunch green onion chopped

3 gloves of garlic chopped

1 tablespoon chopped sweet basil

2 sticks of butter (I told you so)

1/2 cup of flour

1 pint half & half

2 cups milk

4 oz. cream cheese

In a large pot saute onions and garlic in 1 stick of butter until onions are clear, add corn and saute until thawed. Add crab meat, cream cheese half & half and milk, cook on a low. Now take the other stick of butter at room temp and sprinkle flour over the top of it on a plate, take a fork and press the butter and flour together until it is mixed together well, add this to the soup and continue cooking on low heat until corn is tender, season to taste. If the bisque is too thick for your taste, add more milk.

You can lighten this bisque up, but when I'm serving it to guests, I got for the full fat, decadent version, it is amazing.

I hope you all have a wonderful week. Big Hugs.

T