Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Rock? Hard Place?
Anyway, on Thanksgiving day, I got stuck, first bite of food and I spent most of the day sick I had trouble with liquids even. My band was so irritated that I had trouble with everything, even liquids for about 10 days to follow. So, a couple of days ago, I finally had enough and called to schedule an unfill. The next morning I wake up and my band is all loosey goosey again! WTF? How can that happen? I stressed over it all day yesterday and today and finally, I canceled the appointment. Now, I just don't know if that was the right thing to do or not.
Here's the deal. I have been at the same spot weight wise for a year. I've gotten pretty comfortable with this spot, evidently. I'm happy that I'm not gaining, I wish I was losing, but I'm not devastated to be sitting at this spot. So....here is my dilemma. I know that many times my band is just too tight and that it won't allow me to make the healthiest choices, food wise. I also know that after a period of my band being too tight, I feel desperate, like "man I can finally eat something, and who knows what tomorrow will bring, I better eat today!" I feel like, if I could consistently make better choices, without fear of pain and PB, that I might actually do that. I also feel this overwhelming fear that if I get even the tiniest bit out, I'll eat like a pig and gain all my weight back. I don't know what the answer is.
So, I'm at a spot where I need to make a decision about my band and myself. Am I willing to make a change? Am I willing to put the work in that I once did? I've gotten pretty lazy. I don't know...but, I do know that if nothing changes...nothing will change.
Posted by Theresa at 2:29 PM