Monday, January 28, 2013

I'm 50!

I can kick and stretch and kick...I'm 50! Ha ha! Today I turned 50, and it's not such a bad place to be.  As I look back over my life, and the missteps along the way, I suppose that there has been more good than bad.  I'm so thankful that I have my band, that, although I still want to lose more weight, I have maintained a 60 pound loss for 2 years.  I'm healthier, happier and I think I look better.   The picture below is me, on the left at 40 on the right at 50 (10 years and 80 pounds!).  I wouldn't want to go back, that's for sure. 
I had a great weekend, filled with celebrating and good friends. It was really great.  I hope you all have a great week!
Big Hugs,

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The unfill that wasn't

Hello.  How are you?  I hope well.  Yesterday I went to see my surgeon for a slight unfill.  First of all, it's been since March or so of last year since I saw my surgeon.  At that time, I was having 1/2 cc put back in after having 1 cc removed.  Since my last visit, I have only lost 3 pounds.  Not great, but not a gain.  I mean I know... I've been maintaining.  I feel good and bad about this. 

So, anyway....I'm on the table, stomach tensed so he can access my port easier.  He has his hand on the general area, hits me with lidocaine, then goes in for the port, I feel him hit the port, he bears down really  hard, and then...strange sound, strange sensation, the needle bounces off the port.  He does this about 10 times total, after the 5th try he says each time..."this is the last try."  So, it happens each time, and I end up leaving with no unfill.  And a very sore port area.  He said, sometimes these things happen, let yourself heal up, when it's not sore, come back we'll try it again.  The nurse said, yeah...they happen but usually when  you're in need of an unfill.

Anyway, my band is playing nice right now, I'm not struggling to drink water and I can eat okay, but last week it was horrible.  I don't know what is going on with my port.  I haven't felt any pain in the area, I haven't felt like it's moved or anything like that.  Has this happened to any of you?

So, when I got home, I was feeling sorry for myself, and I was hurting.  I told my husband that I wonder what I'm supposed to learn from this? He said...I think you're reading a little too much into it.  Like he doesn't know me or something, lol!

I don't know.  I know that I need to take better care of myself.  I need to concentrate more on nutrition and be kinder to my band. 

I really appreciate all of your kind comments on my last post.  Thanks for the support!
Big Hugs!

Friday, January 11, 2013

I've lost that loving feeling....

Towards my blog anyway.  I've seen it happen over and over to people I've followed, their posts get farther and farther between and then before you know...they're gone. 

I really just have no desire to blog anymore.  I really love reading your blogs and commenting when I can, but every time I go to write a post, I stop.  Maybe it's because I'm just boring and I never have any weight loss news to report.  Maybe, it's just run it's course.  I dont' know.

I will try to catch you up quickly on what's going on with me.  Here are a few bullets:
  • I'm still at the same spot weight wise.  I had gained a bit over the holidays, but due to some tightness, I'm back at my same old place.  Still feeling like I will never see 199...but still okay not hating myself for being 205-208.
  • The holidays were very nice. It was nice to be with family and friends.
  • I was tight, very tight over both Thanksgiving and Christmas.
  • I'm having an unfill on Tuesday.
  • My hubby is more aggravated with my band than I am.
That's about it.  See, I'm boring.  And I'm just feeling like my blog is a little played out.  I'm going to be 50 in 17 days.  I was really hoping to be at my goal by then.  Not going to happen unless I change my goal, lol!  I'm hoping that an unfill will help me jump start my weight loss.  It's been really hard to make good choices, when eating hurts and it I know it's just going to come back up.  I will keep you posted on that.  I hope all is well in your world.  If anyone out there still bothers to check my blog...thanks!

Happy Friday!