Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I've done everything asked of it's just a waiting game!

Well, I've done everything that the insurance company and my surgeon asked of me. All of my appointments done, proof of my weight loss efforts, letters from other doctors and it's just a matter of time before I find out when my surgery will be. I hope it is soon. I'm so ready to take this step. To me, the lap band represents a tangible commitment to real life long change. I have been on so many diets, and lost thousands of pounds in my weight loss career, but I have never believed that success could truly be mine, that I might actually stay at my goal weight for more than a month before the pounds start coming back with a vengeance. I am ready. I am ready to do whatever is required of me to be successful. I want to live the next part of my life in a trim healthy body. I want, need and deserve to have this. 2010....bring it!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

MIA, Pity Party and the kindness of strangers!

Well, I've been missing in action, mostly due to my pity party! Did you get an invitation? Well, I was so upset after hearing from my surgeon that I had more to do before scheduling my surgery. Things really went quicker on some fronts than I thought. I've had my nutrition meeting and my pshyc. evaluation already and just have a few things left to do. I'm feeling better, greatly due to all of the kind words from you bandsters out there. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And welcome to my new followers. I really appreciate the company on this journey. I have found kinship in these blogs that I have not found anywhere else. Today I was reading a post on Life's little Journey, Jenny posted her reasons for having the Lap Band. I nearly cried. I felt so much like she was speaking my words. I have found a group of women who really get it. Not like my friends who have a few pounds to lose, but like me. I feel like my struggle with food is bigger than me. I feel like my inability to control my weight defines me and that I have spent the last 20 years of my life waiting to be thin. I'm tired of waiting. I finally feel like I deserve better than what I've been giving myself. Today, I'm so thankful that I have made this decision. I promise to be more patient with the process and with myself. I'm thankful for all of the blogs that I have found and the incredible information and support. I feel like I'm not in this alone....and that feels really good. Thank you! Merry Christmas.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Early January, but no definite date yet!

I saw my surgeon yesterday, but still don't have a date. It will be early January though. I can't wait. I really like my surgeon he is very compassionate and he spent lots of time answering my questions. However, I feel like I'm more prepared for this than anything I've ever done. I've read so many blogs and lots of posts on Anyhoo! I look forward to the challenges ahead and wonder if others felt this optimistic about the change....and did it last?
Hmmmm only time will tell!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy Turkey Day!

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and all that it holds for me and my family. I love food! This will be my last Thanksgiving without the band. Since I made the decision to have the lap band, I have been eating as though each meal is my last. I hate that about myself, but can't quite figure out how to stop it. I can't wait to have my surgery and to feel like I'm in control of food for a change, instead of the other way around. I know it won' t be easy, but I feel confident that this is the right decision for me. I spend so much energy doubting myself and picking myself apart. But today and tomorrow I'm going to spend my energy being thankful. I am thankful for so much, for my family, my career, my passion and my talents. And....I'm thankful that I'm getting banded baby!

Monday, November 23, 2009

I met my surgeon...he rocks.

I met my surgeon at the required seminar. It was very informative and I was glad that I went. There was this guy behind me and when they turned the lights down for the slide show, he began to snore, like nothing I've ever heard. Poor guy. I knew that I liked my surgeon when his response was very compassionate...he said, "sleep apnea is a devastating condition, it's nothing to laugh at, it is responsible for more sudden deaths in adults than any other condition." That being said, he was just so nice. So, I have my appointment with him on December 3, and I am so happy. I feel great about my decision. My insurance will pay 80%, so I just have to pay $2700.00 for the surgery. My darling husband said, a small price to pay for your health and happiness. God, I love that man. Anyway, I'm sending this blog out into space. I don't know if anyone will ever read it. But I'm reading tons of blogs and I feel so connected to some of these women. I'm going to figure out soon how to follow those blogs. Happy Turkey Day, it's coming!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

If you blog and no one reads it, is it still a blog?

Hey there Tess, what's up? Nothing really just writing my first blog. I know that no one will read it, and that's a little freeing. I never read a blog before I decided to get the lap band, let alone written one. But I have devoured the information on the blogs like it was chocolate. I am ready to make this move. I am the girl that was skinny for the first 25 years of my life and have been fat for 21 years, and now I'm going back. I'm gonna do things different this time, I'm going to appreciate living in the moment like I never did before. When I was thin, it wasn't thin enough. I never felt just right, ever. So, I want a do over. I want to be free from these soft blubbery chains that bind me. I want to feel good about myself. I want to start over again. I'm going to.