Infrequent at best!

That's me.  I just can't get into blogging lately.  I read Catherine's post and felt bad and was flattered at the same time that she mentioned my blog and that she missed reading my posts.  Sometimes we start to think that we are just part of the scenery.  Both in blogland and real life.  I know sometimes in the evenings when I'm doing laundry and cooking or cleaning, I feel like part of the scenery, just a machine running in the background.  My family has grown accustomed to the hum of the machine and they find that white noise comforting.  Other than that, I wonder if the things I do for them really matter.  They matter to me, but do they really matter to them?  Do they stop every once in a while and say..."man, it's nice that I always have clean towels and underwear." Or do they only notice on the rare occasion that some other commitment has me behind schedule and I don't get something done? At work, I feel fortunate that I have a really good job that helps me provide for my family, but I don't necessarily feel needed, challenged or appreciated on a daily basis.  I've let that feeling bleed into other areas of my life.  And I need to take a moment to realign my attitude.  I need to remember why I get up early or stay up late to get things done.  I need to remember why I show up at work and that there are rewards for all of those moments.

After Catherine mentioned all of the blogs that have tapered off, I went to find a few that were so important to me, people who inspired me and encouraged me and gave me good information about the band and what was in store for me.  Like Catherine, I too felt bummed when I realized how many of them hadn't blogged in a year, some even three years. 

I see a lot of us banded bloggers spinning our wheels with the band.  Not really going anywhere, some of us even going backwards.  It scares me a little and makes me feel more pressure to get moving in a downward direction again.  It also makes me grateful that I haven't gone backward, even if I'm not moving forward, I'm not going back!

I will turn 50 in 4 months and I really want to be at my goal weight.  That means I have to lose 30 pounds.  Considering the fact that it took me one year to lose 15, I'm not sure what I have to do to get the job done.  I don't feel like a failure at all.  I'm really proud of how far I've come and I think the band was the right decision for me.  I do think that I've put dieting in the background....kind of gotten used to the white noise of just living....humming along, not going backwards, but not going forward either.  And it's time to change that.  It's time to change my attitude toward dieting and work and many other areas in my life as well.

Thanks Catherine for the reminder.  Yet another way that you've been an inspiration to me: your commitment to maintaining a healthy weight and your commitment to blogging as part of that journey and as a way of paying it forward.  I for one appreciate it!

Big Hugs,
Theresa