Now that I that I am between 30 and 40 pounds overweight (I give myself a 10 pound range, because I'm not sure what weight I need to be yet), rather than 100 pounds over weight, I tend to blend in much better. For the last 25 years or so, I have been painfully aware that I'm generally the biggest thing in a room, bar the furnishings. I have always done my best to stand out, with my personality and sense of humor, as it was obvious I was standing out because of my size so I felt a bit of an obligation to bring that full circle. I've told you before that my husband has always hated when I make fun of myself about my size. He always says..."selfdeprecators are losers!" Just like that. Although, I still struggle with feeling really secure at this size, when I look around the room lately, I'm often not the biggest one anymore. It feels good to be pretty average and it feels good to blend in.
I had a nice weekend and spent some much needed time with my girlfriends. Although, I really do miss the hubs when he is away, that makes it so much nicer when he returns. A little NSV to share, I went shopping to get a new top on Friday and I tried on nothing but Larges and they all fit me!
I hope you all have a great week.
Big Hugs,
T
6 comments:
I totally get the blend in part. Me too. I have lost 65 and want another 20 off to get to 185. I have gone from a size 22 to a W16 or W14. WTF is up with the fricking womens??? I thought I would be in regular sized clothes. Oh well. Shit. Just keep on keeping on. I am not the fattest one in the room or at work anymore. That feels really good.
Bonnie from Iowa
congrats on the 60 lb milestone and with you rockin the larges!! That is so awesome :)
Great NSV!
All I've ever wanted to be is a wallflower and my size just didn't allow me to do that. Being on the shorter side, it seems I was only growing wider. I would've given anything not to stand out. I'm not sure where I fall at this point. I caught an image of myself in a window at work the other day and thought "I'm looking normal." So I think that means I'm getting close. lol
Awesome! I totally understand the blending in thought. I'm there as well. What is freaky for me is that I have started feeling that i'm ready to start standing out again, but this time in a good way. Only time will tell!
OMG, just saw this post...we are on the same wavelength today! Psychic Friends Network!
"Self deprecators are losers" I love love love this!!!
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