Quick post and NSV

Today is the second day in a row that I have worn a sleeveless top. My arms aren't the best looking arms out there, but in the South at 100 degrees each day, it sure feels nice to have the confidence to wear something Summery! As far as the bat wings go, I pretty much stick to the plan...don't wave much.


In other news, I'm so busy with rehearsals and last night I had a meeting for my new skin care business. Tonight I have a birthday dinner with my neighborhood girlfriends, rehearsal again tomorrow night, I can't wait til Friday. I hope you all are doing well, besides being busy, and way behind on my housework and laundry, because....well I haven't been home. I'm doing well too. Yesterday I saw 204 on the scale, but then it went back to 205 and no matter how many times I step on and off, I can't seem to find it again. I'm hoping it will show up again soon, but I can't claim it yet. I'm so close to a weight that starts with a 1...yet still so far.

Have a great hump day!
Big Hugs!
T

Finally it's Friday!

I'm glad it's Friday, but it comes with mixed emotions. Today my boys go to their dad's for a week. When they're with me the time goes so quickly, when they are away it drags. I miss them when they are gone. I miss the bustle in our house. I know I'm getting a jump on the empty nest stuff now and I'll be better equiped to deal with it, but it still makes me sad. Today they came by my office to visit a little before they left and I took this picture of them by the map, they were being silly, as always.

So, they took a picture of me by the map, being silly too...hmmm, I wonder where they get it from? So, I was about to upload the picture and show you guys and celebrate the fact that I have on a size 14 pants today. Then I started writing about how even though they are a 14, I know that they are generously cut and vanity sized, and whatever and since I've been kind of blue and feeling sorry for myself about not losing weight lately, I decide to do a side by side comparison shot of me at a much heavier weight, next to me now in the size 14 pants so that I could feel better about myself and so....here it is:

this is me in 2004 at 285 and me now

Guess what? It did make me feel better and I am really proud that I'm wearing a 14 today, no matter what. I hope you all have a wonderful day and a great weekend. Thanks for all of your kind words and advice about the vitamins, I got some gummies yesterday and they do taste like candy!

Big Hugs!

T

Things are looking brighter!

Thank you for all of your kind words and even a text from Read, I appreciate your support and friendship so much! I'm feeling better now. I know it's hormones, I know that things will get better, but when I'm in the midst of things, well...I'm in the midst.

I'm supper tight again, that's what happens when the hormone ferry comes to visit, so although I had done beautifully last week, I've PB'd every day since Sunday. I know, I'm a slow learner, not just a slow loser. My problem is, that I don't do the things I know I need to do when I'm tight. Namely:

• stick to safe foods



• chew, chew, chew and chew some more



• take really small bites



• take really small portions



• stick to liquids until afternoon



• did I mention chew?



• and, don't worry about the tightness, that won't make it better, but guess what, time...relaxation...and following the rules will!

In other news, I'm struggling with eating a balanced diet. I don't take vitamins, I know I need to, but I can't find one that I can consistently take, I need a chewable. I'm also struggling to get my protein in. I need to track my food again, I was doing so well with that until recently. I need to exercise....but I don't. So...bottom line is: I need to get of my ass and do what I need to do to be healthy and successful in my weight loss journey. I'm tracking today. I'm going to be more careful about what I eat when my band is hormone tight, I'm going to exercise if it kills me, and I'm asking you for your suggestions on Protein and vitamin supplements, please. That's a plan right?

It's Wednesday so along with all those things, I'm going to also drink some wine tonight...woo hoo!

Big Hugs!

T

Monday Blues

Yep, I'm feeling blue. I had a good weekend, it was busy and fun. But I'm just feeling hormonal and crabby and blue. I hate when I'm like this, I take it out on people I love.


Here is my Blue Monday Bullet Point Summary:

• I had a good weekend, Friday we had a Birthday BBQ for family and friends for my step-daughter. It was fun, the food was great! But, I had the early signs of hormonal unease and could feel the aggravation building over absolutely nothing.




• Saturday the hubs and I went to this party that was an Island Theme, and it was not with people that we generally hang out with, but we had fun anyway, but my mood was already compromised by my onset of the hormonal unease and well, when I get like this....I don't know how to stop myself from being overly sensitive and overly unpleasant.




• Sunday was Father's Day, we had a very low keyed day, hanging out at home, the boys pitched in and did the lawn, I cooked for the hubs and we just kind of hung out. I did drink a little too much wine, as I was feeling sorry for myself due to above mentioned hormonal unease and the tightness that comes with the hormonal unease....which lead to lots of puking, thus feeling sorry for myself when I'm hungry and can't manage to eat.




• When I get like this, everything is amplified. I start to look at myself with disdain. I look in the mirror and honestly I can't see progress, I just see the same old fat chick who can't seem to lose another pound. My husband put his arm around me and rubbed my back, I immediately think he's feeling my back fat. Everything irritates me or hurts my feelings and I don't know how to stop it.




• One of our dogs woke me up at 3 am to go outside. I let him out and then I can't find him after about 15 minutes, so I have to go get a flashlight, get my glasses go search the yard for him. In the meantime, I wake up my husband, so at 3:30 we are both lying in the bed wide awake. I don't fall back to sleep until 4:30 and my alarm goes off at 5. I snooze it until 6:20, thus begins the day of feeling rushed and wishing I had a little more sleep.




• I have rehearsal tonight. I feel guilty and conflicted. I want to do the show, it's important to me, but I also want to spend more time with my family and not rush to get supper on the table at night.




• I can't eat before rehearsal, because I can't rush to eat, so if I don't eat before, I'm starving at rehearsal, but if I try to eat before, I'm puking at rehearsal.




• I'm better today, but the damage has been done. I don't want to hurt the people around me, but I do.

That about covers it. I hope the worst is behind me. The above hormonal rant was brought to you by, "I'm almost 50 and my body is rebelling!"

I hope you all have a great day and I hope that tomorrow brings a Tuesday that is full of grace.

Big Hugs,
T

BYOC

Disclaimer: I copied and pasted from Read's blog and so now I have Read's backgroud color as mine on this post. I don't get it, and I don't know how to undo it! Also, I had to do this from Word....because Blogger is still a turd and I can't do a link, so.....Sorry guys!!!!!!

It's time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer some questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blog brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog and ENJOY!
1. Do you make your bed every day? Tell us about or show us a picture of your bed comforter?

No, I don't make the bed every day. I make it when someone is coming over. I love, love, love my comforter and pillows, I will definitely have to post a picture. It's beautiful, but a real pain in the butt to make and put up all those pillows!

2. Johnny Cash or Elvis? Thin crust pizza or deep dish? Coke or Pepsi? Beer or wine or neither?

I love Johnny Cash, but I also loved Elvis when I was younger and in fact I even saw him in concert when I was 10. But…I have always loved Johnny!

I like thin crust better, since the band, I usually puke when I have pizza, so I'm not a big fan anymore.

I don't drink either. If I'm going to drink something other than water I'll go for a Fresca.

I love beer, but don't drink it anymore and if you've ever read my blog, you know I love wine! I like white in the summer…oohh a crisp unoaked Chardonay or a Fume' Blanc in the winter I'm a fan of a good Cab.

3. I recently went through my list of blogs I follow and was at my limit so I unfollowed bloggers who haven't blogged in at least 6 months. I want to start following some more new blogs. Who's your fave lately? Funniest? Most inspiring? Can you link them for me?? I love so many blogs, I have to say I love Catherine, Amy W, Jen & Draz, and of course, Miss Vickie, Jacquie, Stephanie and Read, but there are too many more that I adore!

4. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

Real life, my boys come home today, and I can't wait! I absolutely hate it when they are gone, so the summer sucks for that! Rehearsal started last night for the show I do each summer, I actually got asked to play a part of someone who is not really fat! I couldn't believe it. My step daughter is 16 now, my hubby works too darn hard and my new business is going great!

Blog life: Jacquie is having her surgery today, I found some new blogs this week that are amazing! I'm so glad to be a part of this community and I'm excited for BOOBS2!

I hope you guys have a great weekend!

Big Hugs!

T

This is me!

Yep...if you are what you eat, then, this week I am Jif Creamy Peanut Butter, and I like me! I have been craving it, like seriously craving it. So, for two nights in a row I had a tablespoon of peanut butter with honey mixed together. Yum. For breakfast today I had a tablespoon of peanut butter after my glass of milk. Yum. I'm pretty sure that tonight I will have another. I get like this sometimes. I crave something and I have to have it, so I do and then when the crave is over, it's over. Back before the band, I would have eaten a whole jar of peanut butter in a day. I love my band.


I still have not lost anymore weight. I think it's been more than a month since the scale has moved. I'm really not concerned about it. I guess maybe I should be, but I'm not. I saw my friend Christy a couple of days ago, she's my friend who blogged once when she was trying to decide if she was going to get the band or not. Anyway, she got Gastric Bypass, and OMG I swear she is so freaking skinny!!! She is thinner than I have ever seen her and we went to High School together. Unbelievable. When I see people like that, I have to say that I kind of get a sinking feeling and think maybe I should have gotten the bypass. Especially when she told me she's afraid, because she doesn't want to lose anymore and she can't seem to stop! (Oh, when I got to Heaven...that's what I imagine it might be!) Anyway, she looks great, she used to have really big boobs, and many years ago, she had a reduction. She said she's like a 32B now. Stunned I tell you, stunned.


Today is my step daughters 16th birthday! It's her big one, 16 on the 16th. We're going to have a BBQ for her tomorrow to celebrate. Tonight, just cake and her gift. We did get her car, she'll be able to get her license in August. Wow, our kids are growing up.


My boys come home tomorrow. I cannot wait! I miss them so much when they are gone.


Rehearsal starts tonight for the variety show I do each summer. I'm excited about the show.

I have spent the better part of the day making Wiener jokes! Can you believe this guy? Today when I read the headline :"Wiener Resigns" I'm like seriously....Wiener Pulls Out! Oh, I'm a sicko but I can't help myself. Good thing he didn't decide to run for re-election, the competition will be Stiff, sadly I could go on and on and on!


I guess that about covers things, my no PB effort has been going really well. I'm pretty excited and feel really good. I'm a little hormonal, that always makes me want to eat more, but even then, I'm doing pretty good. I really want to get to onederland before the performance of my Variety show, but I'm such a slow loser and the show is July 22. I need to think about not drinking wine for a while or something, yeah...I thought about it...nah!


Y'all have a great day and if I don't get a chance to post again, a great weekend as well.


Big Hugs!


T

The weekend in review...

Hey there! I hope everyone is doing well. I'm sorry I've been absent from the blog scene for the last week or so. I've just been really busy. So, let me catch you up...

• Friday evening I had my Business Launch for Rodan & Fields Dermatologist, and it was a great success! I sold way more than I thought I would and am very close to earning back my initial investment, how cool is that?


• My next door neighbor passed away on Thursday and the funeral was Saturday. It was a wonderful funeral, a real celebration of his life and quite quirky. It's nice when you walk a way from a funeral knowing that the deceased would have loved the display of affection and appreciation!


• My kids are back at their dad's for a week and I hate it, particularly because my oldest and his girlfriend broke up, and I just hate that I'm not able to keep an eye on him and make sure he's okay. It's so hard when your kids are hurting.


• My PB free week went pretty well. I did have one PB episode during the week, but clearly it was due to user error. I think my fill level is just right and that I really have been pushing the envelope as far as bite size and chewing. Once I got back to basics, and started really listening to the band (hello, don't take another bite unless you are sure!) I didn't have any problems.


• I wanted to wear a black dress to the funeral that I haven't worn in a while. This is just a plain black dress and it's always been a little snug around the middle. I bought it for my 25th class reunion a few years ago. Anyway, I was shocked when I put it on that it was way too big on me and I couldn't wear it. I don't really understand it, as my weight has virtually stayed the same for months now. I guess something is happening, whether I can see it or not.

I guess that about covers things. I'm not a big fan of Monday, but hey....it's here so, I guess I'll deal with it. I hope you all have a great week. I've got some blog catching up to do.

Big Hugs!

T

What a weekend!

I know I keep saying it, but I miss the time when weekends were for resting! Not so much anymore. Man o man, we've been busy. The party went great this weekend. I don't have much time to post, but wanted to share a few pics from the party, lots of karaoke as always.

Me and my cute honey!

Me and SJ (he was my duke at the Mardi Gras Ball) We sang a song about our court members the tune of "I got you Babe."

Me and D, she was my go go dancer.

In other news, I'm busy at work with the first of the month. I have loved having my boys home this week and can't believe Friday is almost here and they'll be gone again! My youngest got his braces off! My oldest still has his on, even though he's the one who follows the rules, wears his rubber bands and has had his on for almost a year longer (insert his sad face here!) My band is absolutely crazy, I was so sick on Sunday, I decided I needed an unfill on Monday, then Monday comes along and I'm fine, I mean fine. Saturday morning I woke up choking and had reflux, Monday I'm fine. What is up with that. I'm reading every ones stuff, deciding if I should get an unfill or not. Today I decided that if I can't go one week without PB'ing, I'm going to get an unfill. So I've dedicated myself to chewing really really well and taking small bites and sticking to a small amount of food at a time. So far, so good. Today I had 4 shrimp for lunch and I did really well, and I'm still full 3.5 hours later. So, back to basics. I don't want to hurt my band, and I really want to start losing again. I keep having a bounce on the scale, up a couple, down a couple and I just want to consistently go downward. Once again, I know what I need to do, I'm just sending out a call for all you good people to send me some good MOJO vibes, please. One more thing....Blogger still sucks, on some blogs, I go to comment and it's fine, on some I have to log in again and it's fine and then on some others, I do all that stuff and it shows me as an anonymous commenter. I don't like it!

Hope you all have a great rest of the week.

Big Hugs!

T

Mirror, mirror on the wall....

It's the oddest NSV of them all...

Today I went for my annual mammogram and the robe fit me, they didn't even have to go search for the token XL robe in the closet, I wore the medium! So, I snapped a pic (excuse the tatas sans bra), either way, it's a victory to me!

Have a great day, one day closer to Friday and my boys come home tomorrow! After my mammo I snuck off for a spray tan and lunch with the hubby, so far it's been a pretty good day.

Big Hugs!
T

A few things that are on my mind:

Well hi there! I hope you all are having a great day. I can't believe it is already Wednesday, I do love a short week! I have a few things on my mind, so I'm just going to put them out there, bullet style:

• My biopsy on my thyroid came back and the nodules are benign! yay!


• I was going to go for a CT scan Tuesday for the hematoma/scar tissue in my abdomen. I decided not to, my friend who is a surgical nurse and my friend who is a Dr. concur that it feels like a lipoma to them (a fatty tumor) and according to Dr. Hubby, it's not getting bigger, but I'm getting smaller, so I feel it more.


• My weight stays the same....what's up with that?


• My clothes don't fit me, I had bought a few cute dresses, I wore one to work today, and I have never experienced such terrible static cling in my life. I've spent the whole day shocking myself and pulling my dress off of my ass!


• I think my esophagus is mad at me. I PB'd water this morning and then at lunch, I thought all was well, but my food was a little spicy and well, I had to PB again after lunch, because of the burning from the spicy food. I've never experienced that before and I don't like it one bit.


• I miss my boys terribly and cannot wait til they come home on Friday!


• We are hosting a big party this weekend, big surprise, right?


• It is dry! I mean dry, especially for our little corner of LA. , it has not been this dry since 1963, wow!


• Sometimes, I want to eat a sandwich, and I want to eat it in the car, in a hurry, I kind of miss that.


• When I'm really hungry and I need to have something but don't have time to sit down and eat something slowly, I drink a glass of milk. I used to not drink milk, I love it now!

I think that about covers all of the things rattling around in there at the moment. Have a great hump day.

Big Hugs!

T