LilySlim - Weight loss

Monday, June 20, 2011

Monday Blues

Yep, I'm feeling blue. I had a good weekend, it was busy and fun. But I'm just feeling hormonal and crabby and blue. I hate when I'm like this, I take it out on people I love.

Here is my Blue Monday Bullet Point Summary:

  • I had a good weekend, Friday we had a Birthday BBQ for family and friends for my step-daughter. It was fun, the food was great! But, I had the early signs of hormonal unease and could feel the aggravation building over absolutely nothing.

  • Saturday the hubs and I went to this party that was an Island Theme, and it was not with people that we generally hang out with, but we had fun anyway, but my mood was already compromised by my onset of the hormonal unease and well, when I get like this....I don't know how to stop myself from being overly sensitive and overly unpleasant.

  • Sunday was Father's Day, we had a very low keyed day, hanging out at home, the boys pitched in and did the lawn, I cooked for the hubs and we just kind of hung out. I did drink a little too much wine, as I was feeling sorry for myself due to above mentioned hormonal unease and the tightness that comes with the hormonal unease....which lead to lots of puking, thus feeling sorry for myself when I'm hungry and can't manage to eat.

  • When I get like this, everything is amplified. I start to look at myself with disdain. I look in the mirror and honestly I can't see progress, I just see the same old fat chick who can't seem to lose another pound. My husband put his arm around me and rubbed my back, I immediately think he's feeling my back fat. Everything irritates me or hurts my feelings and I don't know how to stop it.

  • One of our dogs woke me up at 3 am to go outside. I let him out and then I can't find him after about 15 minutes, so I have to go get a flashlight, get my glasses go search the yard for him. In the meantime, I wake up my husband, so at 3:30 we are both lying in the bed wide awake. I don't fall back to sleep until 4:30 and my alarm goes off at 5. I snooze it until 6:20, thus begins the day of feeling rushed and wishing I had a little more sleep.

  • I have rehearsal tonight. I feel guilty and conflicted. I want to do the show, it's important to me, but I also want to spend more time with my family and not rush to get supper on the table at night.

  • I can't eat before rehearsal, because I can't rush to eat, so if I don't eat before, I'm starving at rehearsal, but if I try to eat before, I'm puking at rehearsal.

  • I'm better today, but the damage has been done. I don't want to hurt the people around me, but I do.

That about covers it. I hope the worst is behind me. The above hormonal rant was brought to you by, "I'm almost 50 and my body is rebelling!"

I hope you all have a great day and I hope that tomorrow brings a Tuesday that is full of grace.

Big Hugs,


Amanda said...

Since last thursday I have been a mean, mean lady. Yesterday and today I have been much better! SO I understand (as most of us do) how you are feeling!

Sandy Lee said...

OK. So both you and your hubby are lying in bed awake at 3:30 and you can't think of anything to do?

No wonder you are blue ;-)

Lonicera said...

It's truly remarkable the way you can analyse yourself while you're in the midst of it - I have plenty of friends who feel evil with PMT but they couldn't possibly recognise it, much less talk about it, till a good time afterwards, and yet you seem to know as it's happening, yet been unable to stop it.
I tell you, it's lovely being post-menopausal. So far there have been no disadvantages, barring the odd hot flush...

Jacquie said...

I feel you T, I really do. I even had to laugh when you said the bit about john rubbing your back and you thinking he's feeling back fat! I've had those same thoughts at times.

Bottom line is, you know its hormonal and you'll get past it. You were a beautiful fat chick and now your just a beautiful chick who has PMS.

As far as the eating goes, maybe you should plan on some type of high protein snack while still at work on days you have rehearsal? Cheese stick or greek yogurt or something. thsi way you won't feel so hungry and you can make it a few hours before eating dinner. Just a thought.

Ronnie said...

Teehee at Sandy's comment.

I know you'll start feeling better soon. Maybe pack a protein bar or a small snack before rehearsal that you can eat when you get small breaks? Just a thought. :)

Tina said...

heck missy--im 47 and already resorting to mood enhancing drugs to get me through this menopause-y stuff. If it gets too bad get some medical help (i'm telling you-i have been reborn in the attitude department)

hugs and xxxooo

Cindylew said...

Sista...I'm 49 and FEEL YOUR PAIN.

Beth Ann said...

:( Hoping for some good and happy feeling to come your way and chase away the blues. Hugs, chica!

FitBy40 said...

I have the same thing happen and am actually on the pill for that reason. I dont need birth control except for the fact that I'd probably kill someone (like my husband) without it to stabilize my moods around PMS. My doc said if it didn't work he could prescribe me a very low dose of anti-depressant, but so far the pill seems to be doing the trick. You might want to look into that??
I think you should just have a protein shake on your way to rehearsal, that way you won't get stuck and you won't be starving!

MandaPanda said...

Aaawww...I'm sorry you've got the hormonal blues. I take it you didn't PMS this bad earlier in the life? Because I tell you what, I skip most my periods just so I don't kill husband once a month. We all go through it...joys of being female. You're a great lady, a beautiful woman and next week will bring happier times. Hang in there!

Laura Belle said...

Like someone else said, at least you know you're doing it, what is causing it, and that you'll be better in a few days. Sometimes you just can't help it, and it sounds like your hubby understands.

All will be ok!!!

Justawallflower said...

Oh my goodness, I had the same emotional, hormonal issues this weekend. I am so mean to my husband, and almost backed out of a wedding I would have been devastated to miss, all because I felt 72 lbs heavier again. I've eaten ice cream non stop for several days now. I hope your Tuesday found you hormonally better off!