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Thursday, October 27, 2011

One of the saddest days ever!

Yesterday, a sophomore girl at my children's school committed suicide. A beautiful, talented young girl, just 15 years old. She was a recent transfer to our school, she had been a victim of bullying at her previous school and so her parents moved her. My children go to a private, Catholic high school. From all accounts, she seemed to be fitting in really well, was well liked and things were much better for her there. There a rumors going around about the girls who pushed her to the edge, if they are true...I know two of the girls. To say that this has affected me and my children deeply, is an understatement. I just can't believe that this child took her own life, I cannot believe that she thought that was her only option. My heart breaks for her and her parents.

I am on Facebook. My children are on Facebook. I got on, because I wanted to see what my kids were up to and to keep tabs on them. I'm amazed daily by the things that young people particularly (but often older people too) will post. Cruel things, obscene things...as if their words have no affect. I know that things are different today then they were when I was a young. When I was growing up, if you wanted to say something to someone, you called them on the phone, or you talked to them in person, or you wrote a note and passed it in school. When you speak to someone face to face, it's so much more real. These children text each other and they say things that they would not say to someone's face. It is all quite disturbing. I cannot believe that these bullies could not see what they were doing to this girl. The outpouring of love and support for this girl has been overwhelming, how sad that it has come too late. How sad that all of these words, these acts of kindness can't change what has already happened.

As our children get bigger so does the scope of their problems, they are no longer wrapped in the innocence of youth. It is so sad indeed. Hug your children extra tight today and let them know how special they are.

Big hugs,
T

23 comments:

Jacquie said...

Wow....I will keep this girl, her family and your whole community in my prayers. How sad.

Darlin1 said...

Thank You..XOXOXOXO

~Lisa~ said...

I am sooooo sorry.. It is all so sad... She and her family are in my prayers..

Read said...

Oh God Theresa! This is just so awful. I'm so sorry for your whole community. I'll say a special prayer for her and her family.

Gilly said...

What a heartbreaking story.

Kristin50 said...

I am so saddened to hear this. My heart goes out to her parents. I feel for the pain they must be experiencing today.

To know that it was as senseless act that pushed their obviously disturbed daughter to the brink of wanting to end her life.

We love you and our hearts are with you and your children!

RockBand Barbie said...

As a teacher I have become more familiar with this then I would like. I work in a large urban high school where it would not be uncommon for a child who was being bullied to go unnoticed by the adults. Also, so much of the bullying goes on outside of school (social media, texts, etc). My school is also gang infested, so we have seen a number of gang related deaths as well, for both current and past students. When I attend the funerals of these young people I am often overwhelmed at the love and support seen there, but it often leaves me wondering if that child had felt that sense of belonging, love, and support while they were alive, then maybe they would still be alive.

Banded Mommy (Angie) said...

I am so sorry. I can't imagine hearing news like this. I will make sure I hug my family extra tight today. Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers!

Amanda said...

how awful!!
Sending thoughts and prayers to her family as there will be a lot of healing!

I am amazed often at how people treat eachother..children and adults!!

Kristin said...

I'm so sorry for you and your family. And your community. My friend's teenage daughter killed herself last October and it has been a brutal year for their family and especially for her remaining three children.

MandaPanda said...

It's just terrible. The internet has created an atmosphere of anonymity where people feel that what they do doesn't matter and they can't be held responsible. The parents of the bullies should be ashamed of themselves...for not educating their children on the effects of cruelty.

Jen said...

What a tragedy. So sorry T.

Catherine55 said...

That is so sad, and so senseless. My heart goes out to her family. :(

FitBy40 said...

oh God, just terrible! It's happening way too often and breaks my heart. I have 2 girls, one of whom is extremely sensitive. Whenever something like this happens, I feel like pulling her out of school and home schooling her!

DiZneDiVa said...

How Sad... I really wish that these kids could see the long term and short term damage that they are doing... Kids are cruel, always were but nowadays... It is so much easier to spread the hate. I truly wish it would stop, how many kids have to die for these kids to see the error of their ways?

Laura Belle said...

I am so sorry for that young woman and her family. It just breaks my heart.

I was horribly bullied in middle school and high school. Before it was even called 'bullied'. My teachers, principles, and faculty staff just said it was 'normal picking on' that all kids go thru. But it wasn't. It screwed me up for life. I never tried to take my own life, because I thought, "If I can just graduate, I'll be out of here forever." But I will tell you I thought about it. A lot.

In my opinion, it starts with the parents. Kids learn by their actions. And kids pick it up and do what they do. I'm sorry, but if I was the bully-er instead of the bully-ee my ass would have been welped black and blue. And I would have been talked to about what my actions/words did to the other person...mentally.

You, her family, and your community are in my prayers.

trisha said...

so sad... you hear about things like this way too often nowadays....

Andrea said...

So sad! Thanks for the reminder!

Band Groupie said...

Just ((hugs))...too sad.

speck said...

It just breaks my heart when I hear about these stories. So very sad.

Ronnie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this sweet girl, I wish kids like her tormentors would be made an example of. This type of situation is becoming too common.

Cindylew said...

Their family and yours are both in my prayers.
So sorry you're having to deal with this my friend.

Stephanie M. said...

Oh gosh. I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. How absolutely awful.