Mardi Gras...again!

Hey there! How are you? I hope all is well. I've been busy, but things are good. It's Mardi Gras again down here in Louisiana. So, carnival season is in full swing. I've been a little bummed out, because I thought last year at this time that by the next year I'd be at my goal weight, but here I am just about 5 pounds from last year at this time. I dug up a picture from 2010 and did a comparison, just to make my self feel better about things. I have to remember that I have come a long way and I do feel much better about myself. I wore a size size large dress to the party and I really no longer feel like the biggest thing in the room anymore. It's funny how I've settled into my body at this weight and it has now become a new heavy for me...when I first got to this weight, I really felt thin, it's all about perspective.

The one on the left is John and me in 2010 and the one on the right is us on Saturday.

I have been really struggling with a tight band for about two weeks, but now things seem to be better. My band is so strange, hormonal fluctuation and stress of any kind really does a number on me. I was about to go get a total unfill on Monday and then suddenly, it's all good. Strange!

My birthday is this month, I'll be 49. As I approach the final year of my forties, I have so much to be thankful for. I am without a doubt, in better shape than I was at 30 or 40 and my goal is to be even better at 50. Approaching 50 is so interesting, there are many things about myself that I really, truly like. Although I'm still hard on myself and struggle with self esteem. I'm much more comfortable with myself than ever before. I'm extremely happy with my marriage, my husband is a dear man...he treats me with respect and kindness every day and he is patient beyond words. This morning he was grumbling about going to work and I said, I'm sorry you have to work so hard and that you have so much responsibility taking care of our family, he just laughed and said, I love taking care of you. And you know what? I believe him. That in itself is amazing. When he tells me he loves me and thinks I look good, I think he's telling me the truth.

I've come a long way baby (to quote the old Virginia Slims commercials) and even though I have a bit farther to go, I feel good about the progress. I've tried to be kinder to myself this year and I have. As I start this new year and reflect on the last one, my goal for the year is to get to goal. Although I'm not sure if that entails losing 30 or 40 pounds yet, but I'll know it when I get there. And...I want to turn my thought process around. I will spend the year learning a new way to think. As far as a word for the year, this sounds strange but my word is SHIFT.

SHIFT, defined: To exchange for or replace by another; to change the place, position or duration of. So....my intention for 2012 is to shift, shift my weight, my attitude and all that comes with it. I hope you all are having a great start to the year.

Big Hugs!

T