Okay folks, I'm still alive. Thank you for still following me during my little lapse here. I have so much to say, but am not sure how to organize my thoughts with so much rattling around in my head, so...I'm going to start first with the things I learned about myself through the extensive personality testing I did with the "life coach."
When I took the personality test with the him, I learned somethings about myself that I think are contributing to my overall crap storm of emotions. I learned that the aesthetic portion of my attitude ranking was off the charts, I am motivated by the arts, music, creative expression, the second thing that is my biggest motivator is the social aspect. These things I have known about myself, I also know that I am not a competitive person, I am a team player and don't have a need or desire to be in charge. There were two areas of my personality that he pointed out to me that were in the low range, he said that in all the time he has been doing this, he has noticed a trend....that women who are low in these two areas are often in abusive relationships. I found that to be so interesting and so true of course, as I was in a very long abusive marriage. He also pointed out that the thing that fuels me, that gives me energy is conversation. I know that to be true as well.
One of the things I specifically wanted to talk to him about was my shortcomings when it comes to goal setting and achieving goals. He's a very interesting man who is very perceptive and he just really pointed out some things to me about that inner critic that I struggle so much with. He asked why I don't have daily goals and I told him, because I've never been good at setting goals, that I don't generally reach my goals and so, setting goals only makes me feel more inadequate. He did a survey with me...and very long story short, said that there are lies we tell ourselves that evoke a feeling and if we can pinpoint when we started feeling this way and telling ourselves these lies, that with practice, we can change the physical reaction to that feeling. For instance, he said that when you first learn that something is hot, you may have touched it to realize it, when you did that, your hand recoiled and it registered in your brain that hot things will burn you. The next time you encountered the hot item, your arm did not recoil and you did not yelp or feel like you were in danger, you just didn't touch it again, you filed it away and you had an appropriate reaction to it. But, if you struggle with self esteem because when you were five someone said you were fat, you told yourself that was true, you did not learn to just file it away appropriately. You're likely to be able to feel that feeling again and again and you have to retrain yourself to know that you're not in danger and that once you do that, with practice, you can do that with lots of negative feelings.
He's showing me how to break my day down into manageable moments and how to get good at setting goals and keeping them. He really made a lot of sense and I know there are things he can help me with. He can help me stay motivated at work and with my weight loss goals. I have lots more to talk about, but that's enough for today.
Now...he wants to help 5 other people, so that he can gather data for his project and get feedback from others like me. So, if you're struggling to get to the end of your journey or if you've back slid a little and need some help and if you're not afraid to do a little digging into your feelings. He's willing to do it for free, if you're willing to share your results, the test alone is a $300.00 value. If you're interested, please let me know, leave me your email address and I'll be in touch. I can only take 5.
I hope you guys have a great day. Big Hugs!