LilySlim - Weight loss

Thursday, June 7, 2012

A word about being too tight.

Hey there, happy Thursday.  I hope all is going well with you.  Thanks for your sweet comments on my pity post about my phone and all.  And Kristin, yes I'm up for a challenge, I think that's a great idea, I'll message you on FB.

Now...on to an interesting topic.  I have struggled with my band a lot over the past year, being too tight, too loose and then tight again.  It's been 9 months since I had an adjustment and most of the time I think my fill level is just right, I am the issue.  I always was one to push the limits.  I do this with my band too.  I don't particularly like this about myself, but I must be honest and say that when I have an issue, 9 times out of 10, it could have been avoided, if I had been more careful or more mindful of my band and it's nuances.  Anyway, last year I had to get a little unfill because I was really struggling....I looked back on my blog trying to find a time-line of things and I was shocked by how long I had let things go being way to tight.  I then read my post about the unfill and the sheer excitement I felt being able to eat and drink, and how much better I felt immediately after eating real food.  Right after I got that unfill I went to the Dr. for my yearly blood work and found out that I was B-12 deficient and anemic.  I know that at that time I was not getting the proper nutrition, I wasn't really taking my vitamins either, because it was such a struggle to take medicine.  This year I went for my yearly blood work and everything was good, I was a little deficient in vitamin D, but everything else was great.  I'm taking a long time to explain all this, but anyway....I was malnourished.  About 7 months ago I noticed this divot in my thumbnail right at the quick it was a a horizontal crater looking area and I thought maybe I had jammed my nail and didn't realize it.  But now that it's grown out, I realized that there is a horizontal divot on all of my fingernails in the exact same place.  When I went for my blood work, I showed my Dr.  he said they are called Beau's lines and they are an indication of trauma to the body, like if I had a Scarlet Fever or a heart attack or took chemo therapy.  Obviously that has not happened, he said it also shows up in people with malnutrition. Hmmmm.  My nails are looking healthy now, but here is a picture of one of them and you can see the Beau's line that will soon make it to the end of my nail.


I was really shocked by this.  I was especially shocked that I could be malnourished and not lose any weight at the time.  I really do care about my health.  When I got the lapband, I did it as much for my health as I did to look better and feel better about myself.  I remember reading blog after blog while I was researching the band and when I read about people who were obviously not doing what was best for them, I was judgmental and I thought to myself..."I'll never be one of those people, I would never throw up and then try to eat again....I would never eat bread if I knew it would make me sick...I would never do this, or do that."  Well, well, well, after 2 years, I have to honestly say that I've done just about everything that I thought I wouldn't do.  I have let my food addiction rule me and I have made choices that were not in my own best interest.  I've started reading some of my old posts, trying to get a feel for the way I was feeling back then, the honeymoon is definitely over, but I am still in love with my band.  It's just time to re-affirm our vows, or something of the sort.  I saw the interview with the David the 650 pound virgin who lost so much weight and has now put on 250 pounds again.  I see myself in him, I can't imagine where I would be if I hadn't had WLS.  It's just so easy to fall back into old habits.  I had my yearly lady doc appointment today and when I weighed in, it was 210, that's 5 pounds above my lowest since banding.  I can do better than this.  I need to do better than this I want to lose at the very least 30 pounds before my 50th birthday.  In order to do that I need to eat better foods.  I need protein in my diet, I have never done protein powders because I thought I should be able to get the protein in my regular diet.  I'm thinking I should try it for a while.  So, I'll take suggestions from anyone who has a favorite.  So, there you have it in a nut shell...I've been hanging out at the same darn weight for about a year, I've not been treating my body well and it's time that I make some changes.  You read it here first folks.

I'll leave you with a cute picture of me and my boys from Easter Sunday.  The river behind me is denial!  Have a great day!
Big Hugs!
T



20 comments:

Laura Belle said...

Yes! You can do this! I know you can! And i and everyone else here will be here to support you! Rock on girlfriend!

A.J. said...

I just got an unfill after 3 months of being too tight. It is amazing how much better I feel. I had lost some weight but turns out that I had my first loss of muscle mass.

CeeJay said...

Your post could have easily been written by myself! I too tolerated too night for too long, and tolerated not being able to eat. Thinking that tight would equal weight loss. What a skewed way of thinking that turns out to be as you well know! Thanks for sharing your very real experiences with all of us. It is so helpful that others know our struggles. Hang in there!! You are awesome!

CeeJay said...

too tight***

Lap Band Gal said...

You can totally kick those last pounds in the booty...I'll be cheering you on :)

Jacquie said...

The only protein powders I can tolerate are Syntrax flavors. They are not milk based. 100 calories, 0 carbs and 23 g protein. My favorite flavor is chocolate truffle and ice tea. I buy it at the vitamin shoppe or online.

trishajo said...

your boys are so handsome! :)


Unjury unflavored protein powder with water and a dash of Mio (berry pomegranate is my fav for mixing w protein powder). Doesn't even really taste like a protein "shake" after you drink it for a couple days!

You CAN do this girl! And we're here to support ya!! ;)

Tully said...

I am exactly the same, I have done everything I have sworn I would never do with the band. I like the idea of 're-affirming our vows'!

Well I can't recommen any protein powders because I know you have a much better range in the US than here in Australia. I will say that they can affect your tummy sometimes, so be careful... ;)

Gorgeous family by the way!

Tina @ The Bandit Girl said...

Great post...I am sorry you are having to write it but I am really happy you are facing your fears. You can do this!

Rachel said...

This is such a great post. I need to constantly renew my vows and keep my nutrition in check... you may have seen my post yesterday about wheat thins and goldfish not being particularly nutritious... oops. Thanks for the reminder! xxx

20 to go! said...

I am at exactly the same place as you chicken. I have eaten until i thought i would burst, even though it was way past my comfort level. My band has worked for me, it is time that I work for my band xoxo

Kristin50 said...

Ok girlfriend I am holding you to it!

As for the protein powders the only one I have ever used in 5 years is UNJURY. It is the one my Surgeons recommended. I did a lot of research on it, and it is one of the best medical proteins out there for absorption rate. This is so important. If you don't absorb the protein you eat from whatever supplement it is not much good.

I like all of the flavors, and they even have unflavored and chicken soup varieties.

I loved this post by the way! You have learned so much and you will win this one sweetie because you have all the right tools inside of you, and that is not including the band.

Hugs

FitBy40 said...

I had a similar experience, where I let it go too long and was not getting proper nutrition. It's interesting that the doc called it a 'trauma' to the body, because honestly, that's how I felt during those last days when I couldn't eat anything. I was sick and I knew it. Sad that it had to get to that point until I was willing to get an unfill!
I used to do soy based powders which were all fine, but now I'm on 100% whey which I buy in a gigantic bag from Costco. Walmart has a bunch to choose from too. Good luck with finding one you like!

MandaPanda said...

Great post! I think it's easy for the banded to think that a too tight fill level is normal and that it's just the price you pay for WLS but that's not the case and it CAN be detrimental to your health.

Beth Ann said...

Thank you for posting this. <3

tray lane said...

Love your blog long time. I use Whole Foods brand of whey protein shake. No artificial sweetners (stevia) and no funky after taste. I'm all about gummy vitamins. They are easy and yummy. Make sure they are for adults. Too tight is no bueno. When I'm tight I tend to pre-medicate with wine. Sound familiar?

Angie said...

Oh Wow your post sounds like I could have written it. I am very shocked about the fingernails. I have been noticing that in my nails for months and I haven't lost any weight since December when I had an unfill and then gained 25 lbs. Well, if your body is starving then anything you eat will be stored so not losing but being malnourished makes sense. Up until my unfill I was rockin' my band since the unfill I have fallen back into old habits. I quit getting fills because I didn't think I needed them.
I am not big on protein drinks. Hate them actually but found a few decent ones as I am picky. GNC has whey protein powder that is high protein (60g I think). I mix that with milk and a tbsp of peanut butter and ice. I also take the chocolate proteing powder and bananas and ice. Muscle Milk has a banana creme that is decent and has 25g of protein. Ensure muscle is good too, chocolate and strawberry. I feel your pain and am right there with you.

RockBand Barbie said...

Love this post and love "re-affirming" your vows with the band :)

Justine said...

I'm with you! I've got an appt booked with my surgeon for an unfill in 10 days and I'm so excited! I've been too tight and haven't lost weight because I've been eating crapola. I look forward to getting back to eating 'proper' food again

Catherine55 said...

What a great post. I didn't know that you could get lines in your fingernails from being malnourished -- so glad you're on top of this now. I'm rooting for you (and recommending the Isopure protein drinks from GNC .. only protein drink I can stand).

You look great in the photo with the boys!