Wednesday, August 15, 2012

First day of school!

Well, today marks the start of the new school year.  The summer break just flew by! I can't believe that my oldest son and my step daughter are seniors! (Sadly, no pic of my step-daughter today, she was at her Mom's house) and my youngest is in 10th grade!  Here is a picture of my handsome sons this morning:

Never too old for a first day of school pic, right?  They didn't protest too much, ha ha!

Anyway, things are going along okay in my life.  I'm a creature of habit, so, I'm glad to have a little more structure in our lives with the start of school.  I do better when I get up at 5 and get my day going with a little activity.  This summer I've been steadily sleeping in to 6 or 6:30 and it's never good to start your day off rushing...well, not for me anyway.  So, this morning I was up for 5, exercised a little, that is my goal to start exercising again regularly.  And, was still able to get the kids off to school without event and had time for coffee and a little quiet time as well.  That's a good start.

I've been in a bit of a funk lately.  I don't know if it's the thought of my kids flying the nest soon or the fact that my husband is kicking ass and taking names with the Paleo diet and now weighs considerably less than me.  Or the fact that, I stay within my target calorie range for a full week at a time and lose a half a pound, or worse gain a pound! Or the fact that I'm 5 months away from turning 50 and I'm starting to lose hope that I'll get to my goal weight before then.  I'm starting to lose hope that I'll ever get to my goal weight.  I had my mojo just a couple of weeks ago.  I feel like it's slipping fast.  I don't know if I can drop my daily calories anymore than I am and still function.  I wish that I didn't sit at a desk everyday, all day.  I don't even think about food when I'm not sitting at my desk.  On the weekends, I eat when I start feeling weak.  During the week at work, I'm tracking my food first thing in the morning so I know what I have to look forward to.  That's sad! I need to re-evaluate, I need to stop focusing on my goal as such a huge hunk. First of all, in my wildest dreams pre-band, I never, ever would have considered 25 pounds to be a huge hunk! How does this happen, I've lost sight of where I came from? I've lost sight of where I'm going.  I've lost the ability to enjoy this step.  All I'm doing lately is focusing on what I don't have.  That's not healthy, and it certainly won't make reaching my goal happen any quicker or any easier. 

I need some good, blog land...send them please.  I don't know how to get out of this funk on my own.  But today, I will stay on track and I will blog about these feelings.  I will do more blogging and hopefully...less bitching and moaning.  It's a slippery slope at the end of the 40's!

Happy Wednesday
Big Hugs,


Chris said...

Hey you! I'm 9 months away from 50 myself and hear you loud and clear! I'm trying to focus on "decades" - like, what will it take to change that middle number of my weight, from 140 to 130 (HA! how's *that* for an example!)

You can do this. WE can do this. Dig your heels in, and hold on tight - we can't go down that slippery slope anymore!!

Colleen said...

You have done an amazing job! Keep going and you'll get there. Look at how far you have come already. Look back at old pictures, pull out those old pants if you have them to actually see how far you have come. You can do it!

Catherine55 said...

The boys are adorable -- great photo! Don't stress about getting to goal within 5 months -- how about making your 5 month goal to just consistently move closer to goal during that time?

You have every right to feel amazing about how far you've come. When you start questioning yourself, please go back to the beginning of your blog and read it to remind yourself of all you have accomplished! :)

Did you ever think you would look this amazing and be this healthy as you approached 50?? Pretty awesome stuff, lady! xoxo

Judi said...

Stop counting those years! Make the years count! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You have come a long way...don't lose sight of that! Take a bow!
It's easy to fall into these funks! Like you said-- when we look around at things and assess what we don't have, we start to feel pretty bad about ourselves. Although it's only natural, we really do have to stop this behavior! Especially at our age.....8-)
Enjoy these moments celebrating your husband's Paleo success and start thinking about the fun times ahead with your kids as they become more adult-like and embark on their futures! Honestly, if I would have known how great these years would be (empty nesting--having more time for me, enjoying marriage as a couple instead of as parents, enjoying my children as adults, etc), I could have saved myself all those months of WOE IS ME! There are good things ahead, I promise.
Lean on all of your blog friends and keep the faith! We are all on this journey together!!

Dawnya said...

Awhile back Vicki was having the same problem. Instead of dropping her calories...she upped them significantly. Maybe that is something you should give a try.

You can do this T. I know you can.

MandaPanda said...

Sending good vibes. They say the last 30 is harder to take off than the first 30. It doesn't make me feel any better but I'm not giving up!

Very handsome young men there!

Tina @ The Bandit Girl said...

I am familiar with the age related metabolism slow-down. It isn't fun. Best advice I have is to get moving in the morning. It will initially make you more hungry, but that will level out, too. Exercise chases all blues away because you feel proud of yourself for just doing it. I am not some nut who naturally loves exercise...I have learned to tolerate it. You can too!! Good luck and we are here for don't have to have rosie posts all the time, I don't, fo sho!

Tina said...

Crapity..thanks for the comment!! I want to know more! I responded over at my place.

I know your pain in the getting old stuff..I defin. don't have the answers yet..I just rode my horse down the hill and back up partway again. I am now sitting at 20 to lose so I feel for you. I do agree that you should do the best you can between now at the big 50 and just see what you get. putting a number to things just makes them more frustrating I think.

Thanks again for the comment! and luck..oh by the way the boys look cute..and like you :)


Sandy said...

Now let me tell you 50 isn't too scary. It's the new 30's without the kids! Maybe you need a good night of karaoke to lift your spirits. And as for men losing weight faster than us--it just is. And I hate them for that. They also think they know the one and only way to lose weight and we know everyone is different. What works for one, doesn't for another. Hope the funk lift. Been there too.

Joey said...

Umm.....yeah. I do think you have lost sight of how far you have come. It's easy to do when the new you is now the normal you and you recognize that face in the mirror rather being surprised by it.

Also, I want to pinch the boys' cheeks 'til they're bright red!

DB said...

Hi Tessie!

Thanks for commenting on my blog. I will update more soon. Congrats - I see you are 1 pound away from goal. Way to go girl - that is outstanding!!!


Ronnie said...

*good vibes!*

I know what you mean about thinking about food all day when you're at your desk; I seem to be doing the same thing and I've only been working 3 days. Damn, I was hoping it got easier...

Your boys look ready to take on this next school year! Good luck to 'em! :)