Well, today marks the start of the new school year. The summer break just flew by! I can't believe that my oldest son and my step daughter are seniors! (Sadly, no pic of my step-daughter today, she was at her Mom's house) and my youngest is in 10th grade! Here is a picture of my handsome sons this morning:
Never too old for a first day of school pic, right? They didn't protest too much, ha ha!
Anyway, things are going along okay in my life. I'm a creature of habit, so, I'm glad to have a little more structure in our lives with the start of school. I do better when I get up at 5 and get my day going with a little activity. This summer I've been steadily sleeping in to 6 or 6:30 and it's never good to start your day off rushing...well, not for me anyway. So, this morning I was up for 5, exercised a little, that is my goal to start exercising again regularly. And, was still able to get the kids off to school without event and had time for coffee and a little quiet time as well. That's a good start.
I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I don't know if it's the thought of my kids flying the nest soon or the fact that my husband is kicking ass and taking names with the Paleo diet and now weighs considerably less than me. Or the fact that, I stay within my target calorie range for a full week at a time and lose a half a pound, or worse gain a pound! Or the fact that I'm 5 months away from turning 50 and I'm starting to lose hope that I'll get to my goal weight before then. I'm starting to lose hope that I'll ever get to my goal weight. I had my mojo just a couple of weeks ago. I feel like it's slipping fast. I don't know if I can drop my daily calories anymore than I am and still function. I wish that I didn't sit at a desk everyday, all day. I don't even think about food when I'm not sitting at my desk. On the weekends, I eat when I start feeling weak. During the week at work, I'm tracking my food first thing in the morning so I know what I have to look forward to. That's sad! I need to re-evaluate, I need to stop focusing on my goal as such a huge hunk. First of all, in my wildest dreams pre-band, I never, ever would have considered 25 pounds to be a huge hunk! How does this happen, I've lost sight of where I came from? I've lost sight of where I'm going. I've lost the ability to enjoy this step. All I'm doing lately is focusing on what I don't have. That's not healthy, and it certainly won't make reaching my goal happen any quicker or any easier.
I need some good vibes...so, blog land...send them please. I don't know how to get out of this funk on my own. But today, I will stay on track and I will blog about these feelings. I will do more blogging and hopefully...less bitching and moaning. It's a slippery slope at the end of the 40's!