- I will never throw up from eating too quickly!
- I will never eat more than I should!
- I will never have to be reminded to chew my food!
- I will never be one of those people that doesn't appreciate my band!
- I will never try to eat something I shouldn't...like bread or pasta!
- I will never get lazy and not want to exercise and try really hard!
- I will never take for granted the tool that I have!
- I will never look at my progress and not be thankful!
- I will never...this and....I will never that....and...on and on and on!
Well you know what....I did all of those nevers... and sometimes... I still do. Each day I have to remind myself that this is a lifelong commitment to better health, not just a smaller butt! I found myself doing all the things I didn't think I'd do. I also said I'd never let my BMI or my weight reflect the way I feel about myself. That's not always easy. Although, most of the time, I feel pretty good about myself. I really want to have my weight begin with a 1! It consumes my thoughts at times and makes me feel like it's just not attainable for me. My BMI is 30.4, I'm still in the obese category by 1/2 a point. Then I'll have 5 points to go from there just to be considered normal weight. When I started this journey my BMI was 40, at my heaviest it was 42.5. I'm happy that I've lost weight, that I'm healthier, but DAMN! I don't want to still be considered obese after all of this, and I don't even know if I'll ever be out to the over weight category. It's disheartening at times. I'm still doing Weight Watchers, I am still really trying. The scale did not move last week, but it did this week, but only by .6. I have to just keep on going. Sometimes, I want to just say...screw it, I am who I am, I'm just going to love me like I am. But, I want to get to my goal...for once in my life, I want to get to my goal weight. How do you keep up the good fight after 2 years and 5 months? How do you just put one foot in front of the other? I don't know...I guess, you just do. Today is one of those days when, I find it hard not to feel sorry for myself. I want to just be there already. I want to have something to show for my hard work. But then, I have to stop and realize that I do!
My husband is still doing great on the Paleo diet and is down 27 pounds...that is probably fueling my discontent. It's not fair that men can lose so much quicker than women do, especially old women like me. He is so sweet to me and he always tells me that my body is changing and I look like I've lost weight....yada, yada, then why won't the f*ing scale just move!
Okay, my rant is over.
This weekend, the hubby and I went to the deer camp and hung out with friends, drank a little too much, chilled out and just got away from it all. It was really nice.
I'll leave you a picture of my Hubby and I sitting on the porch of the camp, good times!
Have a good weekend!!