LilySlim - Weight loss

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

9 days left!

Man o man, when I see that in writing, I get a knot in my stomach. I'm excited. I'm ready to do this. Last night, I dreamt that I was banded and down like 50 pounds. I was lying down on my bed and I looked down and there was this huge bulge, it was my port! (Thanks Band Groupie, you invaded my dreams!) Anyway, bulge and all, it was a good dream.

Last night two of my neighbors stopped by for a visit and we were talking and the subject of my surgery came up. I'm very emotionally charged right now and a bit on edge. My neighbor said his cousin had the lap band and looked at me really serious like and said " you know you still have to diet and exercise." Then, a flood of emotion came over me and I started crying, like a big fat baby, and I got really defensive and....well showed my ass for lack of a better term. I said, you know, I've gained and lost you three times, my standard reply when someone thinks I don't know how to lose weight. I can't imagine that someone would think for a moment that I would be having this surgery without first knowing what I'm getting into. I'm tired of fielding comments about my weight. I'm tired of feeling helpless about my weight and I'm tired of ground hog day! That's what it is, the same struggle, day after day after day. I'm not a weak person, I'm really not, but I'm weak when it comes to my issues with food. So, in 9 days I'm taking a huge leap of faith. I'm trusting God to be with me on this walk, I'm trusting my surgeon to take good care of me, I'm trusting my husband when he says he loves me no matter what and for a change, I'm really going to trust myself. I trust that I made the right decision. And of course, I trust you guys, you have given me so much information, a real insider's view of the process and the kind of support that I can't find elsewhere. So, thank you for coming on this journey with me. I appreciate this community more than I can say.
Happy Tuesday folks!
T

11 comments:

Nicole said...

Sorry to hear about your neigbors comments.. it's the people you are the closest with that surprise you with the things they say.
very exciting 9 days to go!

amandakiska said...

I disagree with the idea that people with weight problems are weak or lack will-power. I think we have a really poor understanding of why some people develop weight issues, but I don't believe that we possess less strength, will-power, intelligence, organization, dedication or whatever than the next person. Congrats for taking back your power!

Camille said...

You should have told your neighbor that you had no idea he was a weight loss surgery expert and maybe he can substitute for the physician, psychologist, and nutritionists you have seen. Also find out how much he gets paid for all his helpful advice so you can write him a check. Jack ass.

Sorry, I HATE people like that. Honey, you are going to do fine!!!

Jenny said...

I just think that some people don't get it. They don't understand what a struggle it is. Of course its still going to be a hard road. But the band will help us. Its still OUR accomplishment when we lose the weight. Its not a magic pill making us lose. Its US!!!

Jen said...

I am sooooo excited for you to finally get a date!!! They cut off blogs at work for a while so I have been disconnected. Good luck and you will love it.........

LDswims said...

You will be fine. To heck with your "friend". A real friend knows the real you and likes you anyway. A real friend wouldn't be second-guessing you like that. Sorry if I'm overstepping my bounds here by saying such - but I've got people in my life just like that - and no, they are not real friends. True colors come out when it's time to show support. Judging someone is not support.

You are absolutely right to trust yourself. You can and will do this. You've done this before, the only change here is what happens when you are "there". And we are all here to lend support and to listen when you are frustrated!

Athena's Melting said...

ohhh...it is so emotional! It truly is, but don't let anything people say bring you down, you have to try to stay positive!!

Jacquie said...

What a jack-ass! That is exactly why I'm being so picky about who I tell. I don't want to have to deal with morons who don't understand. However, tonight my daughter who is getting married in a year said "mama, when you are skinny and wearing a hot little dress at my wedding you'll be telling everyone about your lap-band!" I love that kid!


I give you and others a lot of credit for being so open...I just can't be that person....yet! You'll do great Tess!

Band Groupie said...

LOL...Sorry for the nightmare (I knew I shouldn't have posted that one, sorry). I gave you an award to try and make up for it (today's blog).

EIGHT Days!!!! ;-)

Sandy Lee said...

{{{{HUGS}}}} I had the same comment from a really good friend who is a Nurse Practitioner. I was stunned when she told me to research the surgery more and give it one more try at dieting and exercise before I chose the band.

I have told very few people because I don't want to be made to feel stupid anymore. You are doing the right thing getting this tool (from me only 5 weeks out from surgery).

These are emotional days, but you'll get there soon. Keep blogging. We all understand.

Bonnie said...

What a JERK! I'm with Camille. Was he going to send you a bill for that freaking awesome advice?