It's been one of the hardest things about WLS...learning to see myself differently and learning to let others see what they see, instead of what I see. I don't know how to go about changing an area of my life that has taken decades to develop. I saw a comment on FB yesterday about how to be confident after a life changing weight loss, the comment said "fake it til you make it" a great quote from the 12 step programs, one that I have tried so many times to use. Some days I'm much better at faking it than others. Today is one of those days. I look at myself and I see a flawed me and find it difficult to look past the flaws. But, some days I look at myself and I feel confident and I feel worth it and I feel like my flaws are only a small part of the big picture. I want to strike a better balance, but I'm struggling with that. I know that so many of us are. I really struggle with feeling like I'm losing my identifying skin, my protection. I don't like feeling vulnerable. In other news....my band is performing so nicely right now. I haven't been getting stuck, I'm really concentrating on eating slowly and chewing and it's working well for me. I hope it continues. I feel good physically. I hope you all are doing well and have a great Wednesday! Big Hugs, T
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
What do you see?
It's been one of the hardest things about WLS...learning to see myself differently and learning to let others see what they see, instead of what I see. I don't know how to go about changing an area of my life that has taken decades to develop. I saw a comment on FB yesterday about how to be confident after a life changing weight loss, the comment said "fake it til you make it" a great quote from the 12 step programs, one that I have tried so many times to use. Some days I'm much better at faking it than others. Today is one of those days. I look at myself and I see a flawed me and find it difficult to look past the flaws. But, some days I look at myself and I feel confident and I feel worth it and I feel like my flaws are only a small part of the big picture. I want to strike a better balance, but I'm struggling with that. I know that so many of us are. I really struggle with feeling like I'm losing my identifying skin, my protection. I don't like feeling vulnerable. In other news....my band is performing so nicely right now. I haven't been getting stuck, I'm really concentrating on eating slowly and chewing and it's working well for me. I hope it continues. I feel good physically. I hope you all are doing well and have a great Wednesday! Big Hugs, T
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14 comments:
I love the line 'fake it until you make it'. I once heard an author speak about how he pretended to be an athlete until one day after months and months of cycling and working out he discovered he actually was. This same person harnessed that into becoming an author. He described how he pretended in the beginning that he was acting a part in a play...I have tried a bit to incorporate that into my life although there are several other areas that need a lot of acting work (or a better actor!) :)
Happy Wednesday.
xxxooo
You are beautiful...inside and out!! Fake it until you make it...is the way to go. Hell I do it all the time. LOL
I swear I have lived my whole life by 'fake it till you make it'. It's only recently (the past few years) that I've tried to not do that with varying results (who knew tact was so important?). There's no doubt, though, as I lose weight and people see me differently there is no choice (for me at least) to fake it till i make it - I still have no idea and no skills whatsoever when the cloak of invisibility is lifted. Good luck and we're all right there with you!
Great post, as always. You are right there in my head. I love the fake it till you make it. What else can you do? Just keep trying.
A great post, Tessie! I struggle with this daily. I have such a hard time seeing the current me. I was never good at faking it until I made it...I'd just hide instead. It's a day to day struggle, and as much as I hate that others have to endure it, I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
Here's to fakin' it with style! ;)
The best defense to our insecurities is an offense and that is why I totally agree with the 'fake it' notion. One of the things people have said as a compliment to me since I can remember is that I come across as the most confident person they know. The irony in that is the two things in my life I'm working hard at and care about the most (my weight loss and motherhood) are the two things I'm the most insecure about. I guess faking it works for me, even when it doesn't always feel like it is.
I try to look at myself the way a parent looks at their child. I see flaws and shortcomings, sure, but I also see beauty and creativity. My own kids are not perfect, but I'd never love them less because of their imperfections. I try to extend myself that same courtesy.
I don't need perfection but it would be nice to feel just fine. Some days I do. I am in a fab mood. Other days I feel ugly and useless and lazy. But in the end I know I am none of those things. Just human. Ultimatly I am happy with the path I am on but scared I'll mess it up like I have other diet plans in my life. I want to see what everyone else sees. But I am convinced sometimes they are lying! Lol
Love this post! The "fake it until you make it" approach seems to be the only way to go about it without driving yourself crazy. We're all beautiful inside and out and eventually we'll see ourselves that way too.
Fake it till you make it is basically my life theme. So far, it's really worked for me!! I think it can work for this. I get the whole thing about your "protection" - I often have thought of my fat as my shield or buffer. I know that seems crazy because when we shed the fat, we gain so many opportunities. (or opportunities to fail, right?) anyway - I get it. I think you're gorgeous and I hope you have days where you see THAT more than any flaws you may have.
I see so many things I do not like about me in the mirror everyday. I get so pissed! I just try to remember how far I have come. "Fake it till you make it" is a great quote. I need to use it more often.
That is such a crazy thing, isn't it? I struggle with this a lot too. I have moments (like today) where I feel normal and good, but then it all just crashes in a little later. I just keep trying to concentrate on what I like. It's almost exhausting. Glad to hear that you are feeling less tight!
Fake it until you make it...I have to remember that one. All I know is that I see a strong, beautiful, vivacious woman when I look at you! I'm thrilled your band has you in a good place. :)
it's it amazing that we feel like we have to fake it til we make it, but others see that we have already made it. i was told a couple weeks ago that i carry myself differently, i walk with my head high now. i don't see it, but they do...who am i to question that? as far as i see it, we have already made it really - living as plus size women in a society that shuns us, raising amazing children, succeeding in careers, and most importantly overcoming the odds of being overweight!
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