Monday, March 22, 2010

Okay, I'm a little scared...

and....a little cranky too. I've been so involved in trying to get this surgery date scheduled and trying to get my insurance approval that I have been pre-occupied. Well, on Thursday I'm getting the band and now, I'm feeling a little scared, a little nervous and I keep thinking, what if this doesn't work?

I don't want to fail at this. I want to finally get my weight under control. I'm so afraid that this will be like the other times, that I'll have some success in the beginning and then I'll just quit. How can I wrap my head around losing this weight when all of the successes I've had previously were so short lived? I read other blogs, that makes me feel better, but....but....why is there always a but?

Are these feelings normal? Did anyone else feel like their skin could not contain them? Did anyone else lash out irrationally at those you love the most? Please God, don't let it just be me.
Let me be successful at this. Let me get this part of my life under control.

Okay, I'm gonna stop now, I'm making myself even more nervous. It's Monday......Thursday is just around the corner. Have a great day folks.
Tess

15 comments:

Jenny said...

It is NOT just you. I feel this way too. We have doubts because it is a hard battle. But we WILL get through it. These blogs offer so much support. Any time you feel like you might be slipping get on here and talk to us! If we didn't have doubts about this I would think we were nutso! Just keep telling yourself that you will be successful, picture yourself busting through each pound! I know its corny, but thats all I got!!! :)

Kim said...

You are not the only one who feels like this. Before my surgery I was the same way, but you will get through it and you will be successful!

Sandy said...

You'll be fine. We all do the deep-thinking and wonder if we will ever succeed. It's part of the whole process. Some days good, some bad.

I think you have a bit of the pre-surgery jitters. Or maybe it's because you haven't had any sugar for awhile! Keep on blogging. It really helps. And remember, no two people are the same. Almost there.

Jen said...

Are these feelings normal? YES! Absolutely normal, it means you are not taking this lightly.
Did anyone else feel like their skin could not contain them? Oh, yes I did! I cried and cried about it. I felt horrible all the time.
Did anyone else lash out irrationally at those you love the most? Oh, yes I sure did.
It's because you are scared and you do it to the ones closest because you know they'll never leave you.
Don't worry tessierose - you are going to be OK and this time it's going to work. The band is the tool that makes it possible. It's not just another diet. You can do this!

Amanda Kiska said...

You are perfectally normal! I think most of us felt that way the week of surgery. The band is a great tool. Yes, you have to work it, but it also makes it much easier to eat smaller portions.

Nicole said...

It's totally Normal I was REALLY scared the week before. The band is amazing and you will be able to lose the weight. I would have surgery over in a heart beat so worth it.

Amy W. said...

Yes. These feelings are totally normal and so many bandsters feel this way...and that feeling of "how is this different" doesnt go away AFTER the band....at least not right away. But with time you realize that the band is not just another diet attempt, and I believe from teh bottom of my heart...that if you use it and dont abuse it...you can learn new ways of eating and it gets you to a place where you can start making those steps on your own!

Dont freak yourself out. This is just a step. And one in the right direction.

Joey said...

I was crazy scared right before surgery! And crazy grumpy! It's totally normal. Pretty soon you'll be so focused on recovery that the thought it being another diet that you may potentially fail will be out of your mind.

LDswims said...

You will be fine. I think it would be worrisome if you weren't worried. But you will be fine. This isn't like all the other attempts. First, there is all this we have to do just to get ready to do this. The fact that you committed to this whole process that is so hard and is meant to dissuade you means you are committed to this band you haven't even met. And we are all here, too, to remind you to take a deep breath.

You will be fine - and while this is rough, only time will prove that. Keep on being you, though, and you will be the winner!

Debi said...

I agree with all the others, it is normal!

Don't freak yourself out! You will do fine and be so happy that you did this!!

We will all be here for you!

LDswims said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LDswims said...

I just couldn't believe his response. Really? Surgery? Wouldn't surgery be a last resort? That's what I felt like asking him...

But I can also appreciate the expense issue. Nonetheless, I have to laugh - my deductible and OOP-Max will certainly be met - which means the scrip would cost me $4 a month. That's what I pay AFTER the deductible and OOP are taken care of.

Oh well...hopefully this doesn't matter. :)

I still may talk to my PCP about it. I'd rather a pill for a few months instead of potentially another surgery. Our bodies wouldn't have gall bladders if they weren't needed. I know it's one of those expendable organs...but it does have a purpose, unlike the appendix.

No, not Dr. Spiegle - I'm using Dr. Hollis. While both have their own practices, they also both work in the same bariatric center (True Results) as well. So a lot of the same mentality...although Dr. Hollis says he's the only one with his views on the diet.

Are you using Dr. Spiegle?

Camille said...

We got this, Tess!

Julie said...

All these feelings are absolutely normal, I think you can ask any bandsters they all have been there before.Don't worry it will all be fine, we are all here to help you go through the difficult times.

THE DASH! said...

Yup and I'm going to follow like a sheep. These feeling are all perfectly normal, Tessie. Every single one of us - whether we said it out loud or not - had these same thoughts going through our heads. And 99 percent of us are having or had success with these bands of ours.

If I can give one iota of advice it would be to follow EXACTLY what your doctor tells you to do. There are some basic rules and if you abide by these you will make yours successful too. Try to breathe and just relax a little. You're going to be great!! PS You can always blog about whatever feelings it is you are going through. That's what we are here for. Chances are, if you're experiencing something, then one or more of us have too and can help you through the hurdle. Good luck, girl!!