Long time, no post

I'm happy to report that I'm down 26 pounds. I'm finally getting used to this fill, there was a definite learning curve involved. I have to be careful, I've been stuck a few more times, but haven't PB'd. I have found that left over meat is a big no no.

It's been an exciting week in blog land, Drazil's big reveal, Amy W. getting up on a slalom ski, lots of soul searching and successes.


I'm going on vacation next week and guess who I get to meet?.....That's right Miss Vickie!
(http://thequeenbeeslapbandlife.blogspot.com/) I'm so excited!

Now, on to another note. I talked last week in my blog about not turning to food for comfort, but instead turning to people. Draz asked me if I knew what was bothering me, and I do. My ex-husband is a real turd, for lack of a better description, and he is taking me back to court some 5 years after our divorce, to reduce child support. He was a very abusive man and, I'm convinced that being mean to me and harassing me has always been his drug of choice, just like food was mine. Now, I fear that there is trouble in his current marriage and he is reverting to his old ways to comfort himself. You get the cycle. Anyway, our summer visitation is from Friday to Friday, but my vacation is Sunday to Sunday and now (although every summer before he was fine with a change) he has decided that we can only stick with what the court has set forth and he will not accept a change in the schedule. Of course I talked to him about it, before I booked and he was fine with the dates. I know this man and I know that if I take my kids and return on Sunday, that the cops will be waiting at my house when I get there (ala Jerry Freakin Springer)! So, I'm so stressed out about this. My husband gets frustrated with me, because he says that I still let the man affect me. I can't help it, I try really hard, but the man has hurt me in so many ways for a really long time. I was married to him for 17 years. I was afraid of him and spent most of my days on constant watch. I walked on egg shells, never knowing if the next thing I said was going to be the wrong thing. I am not the same woman that I was then. I know that with certainty and I live a life now that is safe and happy. I never dreamt that I could have the kind of life that I have now. I know that for the first couple of years after I left my first husband, I must have been experiencing post traumatic stress disorder, because my life with him was very much like war. My day to day maneuvers were like making my way through a mine field. When I look back on my life with him, it makes me extremely sad that I didn't care enough about myself to get out, it wasn't until he put my children in danger that I got serious and got us out of there. It makes me sad that I couldn't see how badly I was hurting my children to let them live that lifestyle too. It all makes me sad....and I hate that his bullying is having any affect on me at all. I especially hate that it has affected my current husband, who doesn't deserve to feel any of this. So, I don't know what to do, I am afraid of the way he will treat my kids when he doesn't get his way. It all just makes me sick. So, there you have it, my drama in a nutshell. I'm just waiting to here from my attorney and hopefully will find some solution.

I hope everyone has a great day, and thanks for all of your support and kindness, you mean so much to me.

Hugs,
T