LilySlim - Weight loss

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Childhood Post...

There are so many wonderful posts out there right now talking about what it was like to be a fat child, how the pain of our childhood affects us as parents. It has all been so thought provoking. Here's my addition.

I wasn't fat, but I was tall. That's me all the way to the right. I was 5 years old, the little blond girl was my best friend, she and I are the same age, the girl between us is her older sister, she's 7 and the baby in the pool is 2. Just to put things in perspective. I was tall, the tallest kid in my class until the 7th grade, when 2 boys finally passed me up. I was 5'8" in the 7th grade. I always felt big, even though I was thin until I was 25, I always felt like the biggest thing in the room. Generally, I was. My first grade teacher was a tiny little nun, who was the same height as me. I was 6. I remember having conversations with my mom about being so big and wondering if I would ever stop growing or if I'd have to settle for life in the Circus. She was tall too and would always tell me that one day I'd be thankful I was tall (yeah, when the BMI chart came out!) Seriously, she was right. I'm glad I'm tall. I'm glad that I passed that gene on to my tall sons, I just wish that I'd had a greater appreciation for my height when I was younger. I was never very athletic, I was always and still am a bit of a spaz. I grew really fast as a kid, which did not lend itself to great coordination and athletic prowess. I remember always getting picked first for basketball and other sports, only to disappoint my teammates. Bad athletes do come in big packages.

My height, though it was tough as a child, was not what lead to my weight problem. My weight problem was a direct result of my self medicating with food. After my parents died, what brought me the most comfort was food. I ate in secret, I ate around others, I ate myself into a full blown morbidly obese woman. So, I don't know the pain of being an overweight child, but I do know the pain of being a child who's lonely and scared and struggling to fit in. And I certainly know the pain of being an overweight grown up. I think we all know that one.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.
Big Hugs!


amandakiska said...

I was tall like that too. I was 5'8" when I was 12 when I finally stopped growing. I was also thin, but more curvey than my friends which I viewed as fat. I realize now that I just had a figure. I wasn't built like a boy.

Thanks for sharing your story!

Mary H. said...

Thanks for sharing your story. I think most kids have something that makes them feel different from everyone else. Some things are the kinds of things we wear outside for all to see (like height and weight) and some are feelings and emotions that no one sees.

Gen said...

Thanks for the story. It is sad we can't appreciate these things when we are young -- like the fact that being tall is an asset! (Take it from your 5'4" on a good day Girlfriend!)

I was not the fattest kid, but I was always "chubby." So I felt like the fattest kid anyway.

And I self-medicated with food during/after my parents divorce. The band has done so much to break that habit.

Lonicera said...

Being a shorty as a child means you can't defend yourself as well (unless you're particularly tough, which I certainly wasn't). I wonder if your being taller than average meant (unbeknown to you) that you didn't get bullied?
Such a sweet picture - haven't you got any more??

Jenny said...

Its weird how we all have such similar stories. Thanks for sharing yours!