Thanks to you guys and your wonderful supportive comments and virtual hugs, things are looking up. I'm feeling better today and done with my pity party! It's amazing to me how difficult this process has been emotionally. Much more difficult emotionally than physically for sure. I am a veteran of therapy, 12 step programs and the self help section of the library. I have done some soul searching, but never in conjunction with being physically unable to use my drug of choice the way I want to use it. It's been hard, this is the point where I always start slipping, and it's scary.
Either way, I'm feeling better today, much better. I hope all of you are doing well too. Again, thanks for your support, I don't know what I'd do without you!