Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What I need...




That's right, I want a clean slate, a fresh start. Do you ever feel that way? Yesterday I had court and had to see my ex. That is never a fun experience for me. It's over now though and that is what I need to concentrate on. What bothers me the most about having gone through this whole court battle with him is that, in the end, things are pretty much the same as they were before, only now I have a lot less money, because I had to pay a lawyer to represent me for a year and really, not much has changed.




This does not surprise me. My ex husband seriously could have had a conversation with me and we could have avoided all this useless expense and trouble. But he and I can barely speak to one another. He is the kind of person who can't tell the truth, even when the truth is more interesting, he'll spin a tale. It was exhausting being married to that man. Anyway, it's over. I'm lucky...I'm in a good marriage, my husband treats me and my children great. We have all that we need and more, so what is this clean slate I'm talking about?




I want a clean slate from the old way of thinking, the kind of faulty reasoning that actually made me believe yesterday that the contempt charges that man filed might actually amount to something. The thinking that makes it so difficult for me to talk rationally about things that are close to my heart. The kind of thinking that makes me scared of the stupidest things. The kind of thinking that keeps me tied to old ways and beliefs.




My slate has been cleaned many times over and on most days it looks pretty good, the writing on it is fresh and new, but on some days you can see the old writing underneath. Yesterday was one of those days. So today, I've got the spray cleaner and a fresh towel. Here's to each day bringing the opportunity to start over.




Big Hugs!


T

14 comments:

Steph said...

Big hugs to you and I'm glad that the whole court issue is over for you. Take that clean slate and fill it will all the wonderful things in your life and celebrate all the wonderful strides you have taken in your life! :)

Angela said...

I love your positivity. Sorry you had to go through it but now it is over!

Read said...

Phew!! I'm so glad that's over with!!! Here's to clean slates!! I look forward to painting a nice pretty flower on it in NOLA!

Amanda Kiska said...

The man is a NUT JOB and I'm afraid no clean slate is going to make dealing with him easy! I think you handled it with grace and more rationally than most anyone could have done. It is easy to say that you shouldn't take the threats seriously, but I don't think anyone could really do that in actuality.

Beth Ann said...

Big hugs right back! I know exactly what you mean and you have the right life now and the right mindset to do it. Go you!

~Lisa~ said...

(((hugggsss))) to you - glad it's over!

Tina said...

I am glad all of the court stuff is over ;) ex husbands can be a pain (BIG pain) in the rear! Isn't it too bad one can't just carry around a bottle of windex and paper towels :)

xxxooo

Pamela E. Williams said...

Ex's stink!! I'm glad that it is over with and that you can get on with a happy life. I will say it again Ex's STINK!

Cheers to you Ms. T!!!!

Darlin1 said...

Time will definitely heal this wound! I'm glad this part of it is over for you!!

XO

Lyla said...

((hugs))-- so glad it's over!

Gen said...

Clean Slate! Glad this is over and you can really move forward now.

Amanda said...

So glad you can wipe your slate clean and move on!! Cheers to you and to fresh starts!

MandaPanda said...

Sounds like you've got such a good outlook on this today. Good for you!

Rachel said...

I am sorry for the pain you went through with your ex...but you know every time you write about it, I see so much internal growth and strength. I love the analogy of a clean slate...we all need constant renewal...Thanks for your post.