Here's the story of a girl named Tessie....

So, I love reading other blogs and have found that many bloggers give an introductory type summary of one's life. So, in the spirit of sharing and healing, here's mine.

I was not always fat. I was thin until I was 25, but as far back as I can remember, food was my drug of choice. My father had a heart attack when I was 5 and my mother got cancer when I was 6. Worry was a huge part of my life as a child. I have always had a very vivid imagination and even my worries were colorful and often exaggerated. In all of my early schooling, I went to maybe 2 field trips, because I would work my self up so much over it that I would get sick and be unable to go.... My mom died when I was 13 and my dad died when I was 14. My 2 brothers and my sister who are older than me, shared the responsibility of one crazy teenage girl.

I ate through the loneliness and fear that I felt as a young woman, but it really didn't show on me til much later. I married a man when I was 24, that I knew I should not marry. He was not faithful and he treated me badly, but he had a mother and father that I adored and that knew my parents. That was so important to me. In the course of our 17 year marriage, we had two beautiful sons, his mother died, he continued to abuse me, I gained more than 100 pounds and I lost my soul.

Six years ago, with the help of my family and friends I left my husband, it was scary and crazy and straight up Jerry Springer at times, but I survived it. My home was nearly destroyed by Hurricane Rita and my 2 boys and I lived in a travel trailer for 15 months while my home was repaired. I began therapy, I lost about 80 pounds (still fat, but not huge), I met a wonderful man that I eventually married.

Things were going along pretty good, my husband and I learned how to blend our families, we got back into my beautiful home and then Hurricane Ike visited. I found that I quickly began to eat through the stress of having to go through this crap all over again, I had only been back in my home for 6 months, I felt sorry for myself, I did not want to do this again. I gained back 40 of the pounds I'd lost and now I'm back in my home it's more beautiful than before and I have lost my mojo as far as dieting goes. I can't seem to do it anymore, what's up with that? So, at the end of my rope again....in October I began the process to have lap band surgery. I'm still waiting on my surgery date and I really just can't wait. I started blogging, and have found a wonderful community among the women and men who share the same struggle. So, that's me in a nut shell. Thanks for reading and for encouraging me. I hope to have a date soon and to get on with the show.

Happy Monday!
Tess