That's me. I'm once again having difficulty with change and my overall attitude and demeanor. I feel better about myself, but my self esteem is still wounded, that coupled with the fact that I appear to be confident, make for a big ol mess! When I'm feeling hurt or angry or even just stupid about something, I always lash out irrationally at those who want me to be happy the most. I hate that about myself and although I have gotten better in some areas I really struggle with this. I don't want to hurt those that I love the most and I don't want my bad behavior to be a burden on my family. It is ridiculous for me to expect some of the things that I expect and I know that I'm setting myself up for failure. Sometimes I just don't make it very easy to love me. I need to work on my core and not just the core that is affected by sit ups!
Big hugs!
T
9 comments:
Great post (as usual!). I think I need to work on this aspect of myself as well.
Rings bells with me too, my poor husband bears the brunt of this.
I think it's important to remember that we are human and that humans endure negative as well as positive events/thoughts/attitudes. You are being way too hard on yourself, from what I know. But what I love about this blog is that you also own that.
All I can say is don't fight it. If something is seemingly difficult, accept it and ask why or what. Can you change it? If not, let it go. If so, do something.
You are a beautiful person, Tessierose. Absolutely beautiful; so capable of giving of yourself completely and so very rarely asking for anything in return. Sometimes, though it DOES have to be about you.
((((HUGS))))
Isn't it funny how it's easier to be kind to perfect strangers more than the ones we love most. What's that saying? We treat the ones we love most the worst?
I don't know but I think it's human nature to lash out at our loved ones when we are missing something because unconciously we believe that they will be there no matter what. I do this, too.
Hang in there. Your mood will improve!
You are so easy to love. Hug it out!
Tess you are so sweet.. its that freaking stress gene, its creeps in screws with our temperment.. just take deep breaths... it works. hugs.
You will figure it out. I did. We have so much to work on. Good thing we have lots of years left to do it. Beer helps.
I feel the same way too some days. Then I feel so bad after lashing out. When you figure it out call me.
Oh..were you watching me this morning?? So here is the deal..it is bad but you recognize it and are trying to be better. Isn't that half of the battle? I find that my problem is one of boundaries..I let things go and go and go and then blow up instead of staying on top of the issues when they are small..by the time I blow i have let my fuse go so short that I have no patience. The funny part is I have recognized this and am trying to apply it in my new job but your post just now has made me think about how (duhhh) I should think about applying the same strategy at home...yet another case of your putting the most profound thoughts up for us!
xxxooo
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