I don't know how else to explain it. I feel like my skin can't contain me. It's part excitement, part nervousness, part hormonal imbalance, part growing pains. All of those things in one.Sounds exciting, I know.... let me just try to explain:
- The excitement part: I'm so happy that my plateau finally ended! I am 10 pounds away from being thinner than my husband has ever known me! Also, there are so many really successful banded people out there sharing there stories, Amy W. just made goal. I feel like I've read her blog for so long and watched her struggles and successes, she really makes me feel like I can do this too!
- The nervousness part: I'm 10 pounds from being the thinnest my husband has ever known me (a weight that I stayed at for maybe 3 hours, and then the climb upward began.) I also am nervous and concerned about getting a fill. I feel pretty confident that this is a good place for me right now, but I read so much about others having way more of a fill than I do and I keep second guessing myself.
- The hormonal part: Well that goes without saying, look at me funny... there will be tears.
- The growing pains part: I'm anxious. I feel good about my weight loss, people are starting to notice the changes, but I want to be further along. I'm going in October with my husband to Ohio to meet some of his old friends. I want to be thin when I meet those people. I know I can lose 10 pounds by then and when I was at that weight last time, I felt amazing. I remember getting to my current weight before and feeling amazing, why am I having so much trouble appreciating the journey and enjoying my successes in the here and now?
I know I sound crazy, but it's all trapped in my head and it's got to find it's way out. Thank you all for your incredible support. I feel like a lot of folks in blog land are going through some difficult transitions too. We're lucky to have each other. Happy Wednesday guys!
Big Hug!
T
15 comments:
Amen to that sister...so much happening.
Stick with the excited feeling as it'll do you a heck of a lot more good than nervousness ever will. Be proud of where you are right now and relish in the fact that you've got a wonderful man who loves you exactly as you are at any given moment. Wherever your weight is in October will be perfect and will likely have no effect on how enjoyable your trip with DH will be...you'll have a blast just because you're with him.
These are all good things (with the exception of the hormones). Celebrate your weight & the fact that your plateau is over!!!!
Love it!
I think the not-enjoying-where-you-are-right-now part of this journey is knowing you will actually get to goal this time. Like last time you were at this weight, maybe you thought this was as good as it would get. Where this time you know it is going to get better. If that makes any sense...or at least, that's kinda how I feel about it. :)
Keep on keepin' on, you are doing fantastic!
I hear you on all those levels! You are doing great. If you are on the fence about a fill, listen to your body. Lord knows we are all so different.
If you are eating the right portion of food and not feeling hungry after 2 hours, maybe you don't need the fill. Or maybe you just need a tweak. Regardless, you are doing great and the best has yet to come!
Yeah, if I can add anything it's if you are thinking you are in a good place for the current fill, then listen to that. I wish I had never gotten the third fill, which put me at 4.4cc's. I was at 3.7 prior to that and looking back, it was ideal. The perfect balance of being able to eat very little and yet still be able to eat what I enjoyed. That extra .7cc's which I gave .2 of back yesterday, was just too much. Couldn't enjoy anything, always eating cold food...it was too much. If you think you are in a good place then you probably are.
I, too, want to be further along, but I'm glad for where I am - and glad it's averaging at 10 pounds a month. I feel like it's giving my skin a chance to keep up. But still...won't there be a day when I just wake up thin? lol...
Aww you don't sound crazy at all! I totally understand that. Hoorah you are doing spec-dang-tacular and that's awesome.
The whole journey is exciting and terrifying!
I hear you about it all... congrats on breaking through the plateau
I think you are antsy about Chicago!!!!
That's a lot going on lady. You're doing great and don't worry about where you'll be in October - just focus on how far you've come.
Just remeber to take deep breaths and you will continue to do great.
10 pounds from your thinnest! That's so exciting!!
Sounds normal to me! When I got to 250, which was the lowest I'd been in my adult life I was worried that I wouldn't get any lower than that. Sometimes doing something the first time in unknown territory is scary. You'll do it!
I think maintenance is in the back of every boob's mind.
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