I'm feeling all wishy washy! I think I had gotten really used to my band being super tight and being able to justify eating trash because that's all I could eat, and I'm seriously craving crap right now! When I got my unfill, it was such a relief, I was so happy to be able to eat and drink, and I was still feeling restriction. Today, I feel like could eat a horse....granted last week I was PMS'ing this week it's TOM, so even if I didn't have a slight unfill, I'd be in the same damn boat, hungry, cravey and able to eat way more than usual. But I'm feeling scared and unsure, feeling like a made a mistake getting some out. Logically I know I need to wait at least 6 weeks before I make the decision to get more fluid in the band. My restriction has always been very haphazard and I know that tomorrow the band could slam shut on me for two weeks. I'm secretly hoping so, although I guess it's not much of a secret since I just wrote it. I haven't gained any weight, other than the usual upswing with TOM. I have exercised two days this week, which is something I haven't done in ages, so that could be a factor in my hunger today too. I just feel like it's really important for me to listen to my body and feed it good food. My hubby was not for me getting and unfill, because he kept pointing out that sometimes I could eat... I don't want to give him the opportunity to say "I told you so," not that he would do that, that's more my style than his. I really want to get my weight loss started again, I'm tired of the holding pattern. I feel restless. Chicago is in 2 months, and so is my 30th class reunion, I just want to be at least 10 pounds down by then. I'm feeling sorry for myself and I need to snap out of it, because feeling sorry for myself only leads to eating. Okay, it's time to just get back to basics, I'll wait 4 more weeks and then I'll decide if I should get a fill or not. Wish me luck! Big Hugs,
T
PS
Sorry I've been absent. I love reading all your surveys, good stuff! Maybe I can do it tomorrow.
13 comments:
Sorry you're in a rut. I think it's the hormones talking..wait til you get past TOM and then evaluate where you are with this fill level. In the meantime, just try to make the best choices you can. I've been in a rut too...hopefully we'll get it out of it together.
Good plan to get back to basics...it kind of "resets" our thinking sometimes. You can do it! hang in there :)
It's just the TOM, it'll pass. I was like that last week too.
I've also started exercising every day...it's making me more hungry, but I stopped craving crap after the TOM passed. Hang in there.
Ugh - I hate being undecided about such a big thing...I'm no help...just here to tell you I read and listened and hope you feel better soon.
Theresa...you should go over and read Barbara's blog at My body my band my rant...kinda puts things in perspective!
Hope tomorrow brings you a better day!
XO
You could have the cravings because of the TOM. Back off of High Fructrose Corn Syrup. Evidently I have been told it shuts off your brain to know when to stop eating..and it causes us to CRAVE more crap. I know that has been the case with me. Hope this helps! :)
Can I blame TOM if I've had a hysterectomy? Please? I don't know what my problem is these days, but I am hoping I can get it together after my fill tomorrow.
If you are hungry, especially if you are exercising, eat a little protein snack...cheese stick, a little peanut butter on celery or add a protein supplement. I think this may help you.
Maybe because you wrote all your feelings out you'll be able to snap out of it. That's what happens to me. i think it all the time, but once it's 'out there', then I feel like i've got to get on track.
I don't know. I think you'll be fine. Just surround yourself with good food and it'll be hard to eat the crap food.
And I bet some of your hunger is from exercising. I am always starving the day after a run.
I think ruts just come no matter what. YOU have to do what is right for YOU. But remember that eating healthy food, is the best thing for your body and if you are too tight, you shut out the healthy with the bad.
Good luck!
I would say see where you're at after your TOM passes, it does funky things to restriction, so you might be fine afterward. :)
I'm in catch up mode here so bear with me (or is that bare)...
anyway - I agree with other - ruts will always find you (well they do me anyway). And being your TOM - well... it's no wonder he always brings his friend rut.
I can't believe John was against you wanting an unfil - I swear I'm gonna have to have a talk with that man!! You were miserable - I believe in my heart of hearts you made the right decision. But just because it was the right decisions doesn't mean that it will all of a sudden magically be easy.
You are supposed to be able to eat without pain with the band - the rest - the willpower the right intention all that other hard stuff - that's still on us. I sort of look at it as we are still solely responsible for our own weight loss - doing what needs doing - the band just keeps us from running home and eating and entire chocolate cake followed by a large pizza. That's a big help, don't get me wrong - but the rest - that's still on us (which sometimes sucks)
oh and i didn't finish my thought - you've been too tight for so long - now that you can eat like a human again - I'd expect it to take some time figuring out again what works and what doesn't at this new (and better) level of restriction.
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