I was searching for a picture for this post and found this one, next to it was this quote:
"It chokes my heart and jacks with my head." Wow, that pretty much sums it up for me.
I'm struggling right now, with feelings of doubt and insecurity. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. Things are changing so fast, things that I wasn't quite prepared for. Things like, well me. Not just my body, I was prepared for that, sort of, but things like my take on my who I am. I'm feeling like I don't know who I really am or what my purpose is. I know my purpose in some areas; as a mother as a wife. I know my purpose as a friend and I know my purpose in my career. I guess, I'm just feeling the challenge of trying to fit in as I change. I've known my place for so long now, I am the fat, funny girl. What happens when I am no longer defined by that? What happens when I am just an average woman trying to set herself apart from the crowd. What happens if I really can't get to that place of "normal"? What happens to me as everything around me changes. What happens as I start to expect more from people and situations? What happens if the person underneath all this fat is not someone I like after all? Why does my brain work the way it does?
Man, I wear myself out sometimes. I'm hoping that this latest moment of self doubt is brought to you by Hormone Fluctuation and that it will be short-lived. I hope everyone has a great day.
Day 5 without a scale!