LilySlim - Weight loss

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hormonal ramblings and feeling a little blue.

I really need to start tracking my moods better, I used to keep a mood journal, along with my food, but in the spirit of not being obsessive with my food, I stopped journaling food. Anyhoo, yesterday I was starving most of the day, like really stomach growling angrily kind of hungry. Then today my mood is kind of crappy, feeling a little weepy and sad. So, I guess what I'm saying is that I need to try to figure out the pattern here, so I can be better equipped to deal with my craziness when it comes to hormones.

I'm feeling sad, obviously for Jacquie, I just can't get her and her family out of my head. It makes me so sad for her and for her husband, her sister, it's just all so tragic. Today is the anniversary of my father's death, he died 32 years ago. When I stop and think about how much time has gone by, I can't help but get a little overwhelmed. My dad was a great man, I loved him dearly, but sadly I didn't really know him. I was 15 when he died. Later on, there were things about him that I could have found out from his siblings, but I was too young to understand that someday I would want to know more about the man who was my father. He was one of 9 children and all but one are gone. My aunt who is still alive is in really poor health and when I see her, she cries when we try to talk about the old days. It's sad.

I'm proud that I have taken the steps to get healthier and hope that my children and I will get to know each other in a way that I see my friends knowing their parents. At 15 I did not comprehend what the loss of my parents really would mean to me in 10, 15, 20, 30 years, how could I, I was a child. But today, I remember my dad, he died on Mother's Day which for some reason really helped me cope, since I felt like mom and dad were finally together and well.

Those that we love are such a gift, I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful family and such a great community of friends here! Have a great day, it's almost Friday.
Hugs,
T

9 comments:

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

I totally understand how you feel. I have been crying for Jacquie for the past few days too. My dad is getting ready for Ride to the Wall. He rides his Harley from CA to D.C. in about a week. He is with a lot of guys but I worry all the same. He is an excellent rider as I'm sure Jacquie's family was but you just have to watch out for the other idiots on the road. My mom died almost 8 years ago and I still cry about her all the time. I can't imagine losing her as early as you lost your dad. Hang in there.

Nella said...

Almost Friday...Same here, I can't get Jacquie out of my mind. I try to talk about with my non cyber friends and they look at me like I am crazy! So happy I have all of you! Sorry to hear you lost your Dad at such a young age...

I also find that when I don't eat enough carbs, I get into a funk!

amandakiska said...

So sorry about your dad, Tessierose! My heart is breaking for Jacquie, like all of ours are.

Judi said...

When others suffer such tragedies, our hearts ache for them and we also recall our own loss and revisit our own grief and sadness. Jaquie's loss is so devastating and so very sad. No wonder you are so effected by it. It's hard to imagine how she is bearing it all.
My mother will be gone 37 years this month (I was 14). There's not a day goes by that I don't think of her in some way. Although I must admit that the terrible pain of losing her is gone, I often mourn the loss of having a mother in my life. I know that we will be reunited in heaven but I'm kinda worried that by the time I get there, I'll have a lot of explaining to do.....
I hope your funk lifts!
Onward!
Judi

Bonnie said...

I'm sorry you are so sad, but it stands to reason that it would happen. Between Jacquie's loss and the anniversary of your loss, it would hard to be all cheery. Sorry you are blue. Hopefully you'll be back to your cheery self again soon.

Cindylew said...

Stay strong and hold on to those around you who love you.
The anniversary of my dad's death on Memorial Day of 2000 is coming up...I can relate Tess.

Girl Bandit said...

I too feel devestated for Jaquie and try to talk to others about it...sharing helps. The fact that your fathers anniversary is so close is good reason for feeling blue. Hang in there....

Band-Babe said...

Big hug from me. That's alot you're dealing with. I really appreciate how sweet and helpful you've been about my Fibro, and if there's anything I can do for you, please ask me. You've helped me more than you may know. And those types of life events really do make you appreciate your friends and family so much more. Lots of love.

Ali said...

I hope you're feeling better, Tessie! Losses are so difficult all by themselves. And now we are trying to learn to cope with them without resorting to overeating and food. That's been difficult for me.

Thanks for posting at my blog. I am doing lots better since my band slip surgery. Thanks for asking and thinking of me. :-)